Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13806
  • Number of comments : 1817
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

About Mauskau : My name is Zabrina, I'm 4"11 and I'm a Fieldwork Technology Programmer. I would like to become a pilot but I'm too short for cadetships, so I will have to get there the hard way and spend lots of money but I might just stick to IT.

I live in Maidenhead, which is near London in England. I would like to have some hobbies other than gaming and weight training, but I don't have enough time between work and sleeping. I don't even have time for gaming anymore. ;-;

If you would like to have a conversation with me, please start it with something more interesting than "hello", "hi" or "hi babe". I'm not here for online dating, so please don't try. Thank you :>

Mauskau's page activity

Visits<b>YepItsRockie</b> - 9 minutes ago<b>Camwentz</b> - 4 hours ago<b>ostark</b> - 5 hours ago<b>tgranatire_12</b> - 17 hours ago<b>CollinFuchs</b> - yesterday at 3:16pm<b>twistedtwincity</b> - yesterday at 12:21pm<b>misslostnfound</b> - yesterday at 10:02am<b>Gillett</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 3:31am<b>ItnStln511</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 10:39pm<b>black_sher</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Cheeky_Fellow</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 6:18pm<b>feetlvr</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 4:01pm<b>pags06</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:29pm<b>daveydavidson111</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 8:57am<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 1:43am<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:28am<b>ballerina2015</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 10:59pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 9:02pm

Fucked!<b>Cheeky_Fellow</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:19am<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 6:29am<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 9:00pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 4:45am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 2:14am<b>shadow_heart_13</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 3:52pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:47am<b>dustin007</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 8:38am<b>Coachjoost79</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 7:23am<b>Clapdaddy</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 7:17am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 7:04am<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 4:48am<b>Kamorka</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:49am<b>goldfish78</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:28am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:45am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:31am<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:28am<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 3:25am

Mauskau's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of Mauskau's badges

Mauskau's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (67831) - you deserved it (19986)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58128) - you deserved it (9252)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31132) - you deserved it (85268)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML


I agree, your life sucks (26691) - you deserved it (48295)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML


I agree, your life sucks (250572) - you deserved it (32420)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life". She has had the same mullet hair cut since '84. FML


I agree, your life sucks (74664) - you deserved it (8557)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was working at Target when an old woman asked me if I could help her find her favorite bra. I asked what brand it was when she replied "I'll check the tag". She lifted up the front of her shirt, and flipped one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. FML


I agree, your life sucks (62110) - you deserved it (3853)

On 03/06/2009 at 6:11pm - work - by laurenmay (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55117) - you deserved it (3245)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML


I agree, your life sucks (148547) - you deserved it (16902)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by eaa145 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19064) - you deserved it (1740)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (14983) - you deserved it (7980)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:53am - misc - by maaaryy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21069) - you deserved it (11098)

On 11/30/2008 at 5:51am - misc - by Groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8908) - you deserved it (21205)

On 11/18/2008 at 4:13pm - misc - by Andy - United Kingdom (Craigavon)

FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: