About Mauskau : I don't need anything exciting on here, you already came here for the poro.
Mauskau's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Mauskau's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML
by vinniesuckmadack / 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Fitz / 04/12/2009 at 9:53am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/11/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML
by no_leather_of_any_kind / 04/07/2009 at 3:08am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML
by GrandmasWhore / 04/04/2009 at 1:59am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 12:36am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Nick / 03/20/2009 at 12:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, I was working at Target when an old woman asked me if I could help her find her favorite bra. I asked what brand it was when she replied "I'll check the tag". She lifted up the front of her shirt, and flipped one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. FML
by laurenmay / 03/06/2009 at 6:11pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML
by nuberific / 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by eaa145 / 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Noname / 01/17/2009 at 7:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Gob / 01/16/2009 at 9:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…