Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Mauskau

Online | Search for a member

Mauskau

78Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11172
  • Number of comments : 1519
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 35 posted

About Mauskau : My name is Zabrina, I'm 4"11 and I'm an IT services executive. I would like to become a pilot but I'm too short for cadetships, so I will have to get there the hard way and spend lots of money but I might just stick to IT.

I live in Maidenhead, which is near London in England. I would like to have some hobbies other than gaming and weight training, but I don't have enough time between work and sleeping. I apparently also like to be sideways, as the app always rotates my profile pictures the wrong way.

If you would like to have a conversation with me, please start it with something more interesting than "hello", "hi" or "hi babe". I'm not here for online dating, so please don't try. Thank you :>

Mauskau's page activity

Visits<b>orbit</b> - 4 hours ago<b>melody309</b> - 4 hours ago<b>americanafrican</b> - 8 hours ago<b>paravoz</b> - 12 hours ago<b>tactfulmommy</b> - 12 hours ago<b>wvcheesehead</b> - 13 hours ago<b>swarm20</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Al3xv3l92</b> - 16 hours ago<b>manningg</b> - 17 hours ago<b>scottyboy417</b> - 17 hours ago<b>emm0797</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Jenny246844</b> - 20 hours ago<b>xLIGHTS</b> - 22 hours ago<b>keatshire</b> - 22 hours ago<b>sardonique</b> - 24 hours ago<b>happysmile987</b> - yesterday at 1:07pm<b>SnakeEye_454</b> - yesterday at 1:02pm<b>Renesaga</b> - yesterday at 11:16am

Liked!<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:28am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 8:59am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:59am<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:58pm<b>roza_and_dimka</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 6:04am<b>eltigre2213</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 4:53am<b>gary8082</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:19am<b>Murkyy</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:33am<b>christinamarie17</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 3:32am<b>critch</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 3:26pm<b>Rulerray97</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 5:15am<b>Stazza11</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 1:02pm<b>laaryssa</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 4:27am<b>hater4lizife</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 4:03am<b>clearlyroo440</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 3:34am<b>Matheo</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 11:14pm<b>zodiac74</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 5:08am<b>getdown</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 11:16pm

Mauskau's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of Mauskau's badges

Mauskau's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55327) - you deserved it (8881)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

#795380
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30080) - you deserved it (83581)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

#760486
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26085) - you deserved it (47647)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (244382) - you deserved it (32233)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life". She has had the same mullet hair cut since '84. FML

#488336
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74393) - you deserved it (8531)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was working at Target when an old woman asked me if I could help her find her favorite bra. I asked what brand it was when she replied "I'll check the tag". She lifted up the front of her shirt, and flipped one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. FML

#228106
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61823) - you deserved it (3839)

On 03/06/2009 at 6:11pm - work - by laurenmay (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

#216994
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53393) - you deserved it (3110)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

#197066
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (143247) - you deserved it (16188)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by eaa145 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML

#1499
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18888) - you deserved it (1721)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

#722
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14802) - you deserved it (7944)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:53am - misc - by maaaryy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

#419
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18961) - you deserved it (10048)

On 11/30/2008 at 5:51am - misc - by Groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML

#334
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8829) - you deserved it (21032)

On 11/18/2008 at 4:13pm - misc - by Andy - United Kingdom (Craigavon)

Today, I dropped my keys in the drain. Thankfully, my new flat mate generously offered his help to reach the keys via flower pot. FML

#244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19082) - you deserved it (3887)

On 11/07/2008 at 9:18am - misc - by Mandoune - Finland (Western Finland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: