Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Mauskau

Online | Search for a member

Mauskau

13Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9748
  • Number of comments : 1373
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

About Mauskau : My name is Zabrina, I'm 4"11 and I'm an apprentice IT engineer. I would like to become a pilot but I'm too short for cadetships, so I will have to get there the hard way and spend lots of money but I might just stick to IT.

I live in Maidenhead, which is near London in England. I would like to have some hobbies other than gaming, but I don't have enough time between work and sleeping.

If you would like to have a conversation with me, please start it with something more interesting than "hello", "hi" or "hi babe". I'm not here for online dating, so please don't try. Thank you :>

Mauskau's page activity

Visits<b>123765</b> - 34 minutes ago<b>colton_colton</b> - 42 minutes ago<b>Cwilson3388</b> - 3 hours ago<b>freezingmylife</b> - 23 hours ago<b>FkTheWorld7</b> - yesterday at 2:41am<b>yareens</b> - yesterday at 8:50pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - yesterday at 8:31pm<b>BCguy3</b> - yesterday at 2:05pm<b>Gaernem</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:39pm<b>nrider</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 9:13am<b>johndog699</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:57am<b>irilox</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:32am<b>AdolphHipster</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 12:26am<b>confusedAsFuck</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 12:19am<b>trellz17</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 12:06am<b>cdawg69</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:58pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 11:33pm<b>sythe511</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:55pm

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:46pm<b>patd77</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:45pm<b>theat</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 6:47am<b>LeighBabe</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 10:07pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 1:56am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 2:33am<b>BigPeter</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 8:59pm<b>WoodenBoy</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 9:34am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:35pm<b>insomniacdreamer</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:28am<b>willrich7</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 5:16pm<b>SoliDSt33L</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:03pm<b>lior778</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:28am

Mauskau's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Mauskau's badges

Mauskau's favorite FMLs

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

#5425393
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15279) - you deserved it (36965)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

#5034499
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45113) - you deserved it (5115)

On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

#4874486
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45904) - you deserved it (6199)

On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44400) - you deserved it (11906)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (268154) - you deserved it (17544)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was driving to the grocery store with my 7 year-old son. When I was approaching a stop sign, I look next to me and see a guy with a triangle shaped head. I tell my son "Look at the guy with the triangle head." My window was open. So was his. FML

#1587848
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7852) - you deserved it (65407)

On 05/03/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by mylifesucks123 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML

#1586580
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13235) - you deserved it (55137)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

#1289647
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42155) - you deserved it (35102)

On 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by vinniesuckmadack (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35516) - you deserved it (92851)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67346) - you deserved it (19889)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55233) - you deserved it (8871)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

#795380
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30003) - you deserved it (83460)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: