Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Mauskau

Search for a member

Mauskau
  • Town/Country : Maidenhead, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 8099
  • Number of comments : 1137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About Mauskau : My name is Zabrina, I'm 4"11 and I'm an apprentice IT engineer. I would like to become a pilot but I'm too short for cadetships, so I will have to get there the hard way and spend lots of money . I live in Maidenhead, which is near London in England. I would like to have some hobbies other than gaming, but I don't have enough time between work and sleeping.

If you would like to have a conversation with me, please start it with something more interesting than "hello", "hi" or "hi babe". I'm not here for online dating, so please don't try. Thank you :>

Mauskau's last visitors

GeneralStewShep81dk1991rossdavidsthe1pumpCHUMPsexyboi1985

Mauskau's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Mauskau's badges

Mauskau's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248014) - you deserved it (14289)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was driving to the grocery store with my 7 year-old son. When I was approaching a stop sign, I look next to me and see a guy with a triangle shaped head. I tell my son "Look at the guy with the triangle head." My window was open. So was his. FML

#1587848
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6340) - you deserved it (51485)

On 05/03/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by mylifesucks123 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML

#1586580
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11947) - you deserved it (52629)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

#1289647
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40177) - you deserved it (33960)

On 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by vinniesuckmadack (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34186) - you deserved it (90461)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62061) - you deserved it (18229)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

#849037
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53503) - you deserved it (8645)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

#795380
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28570) - you deserved it (81102)

On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

#760486
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22112) - you deserved it (43371)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227201) - you deserved it (29241)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life". She has had the same mullet hair cut since '84. FML

#488336
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67143) - you deserved it (7699)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was working at Target when an old woman asked me if I could help her find her favorite bra. I asked what brand it was when she replied "I'll check the tag". She lifted up the front of her shirt, and flipped one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. FML

#228106
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55045) - you deserved it (3088)

On 03/06/2009 at 6:11pm - work - by laurenmay (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

#216994
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46557) - you deserved it (2480)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: