About Mauskau : My name is Zabrina, I'm 4"11, my hair is naturally brown but I dyed it blonde in Feb '12. I use the app on both my gs3 and awful 3rd gen iPod touch. I tend to see things differently to other people, I see the good in the bad and the bad in the good. I live in England, near London. Seeing people moan at people for using British spellings irritates me, a lot. I love British English. I laugh when people say "I speak American." No, it's English. :>
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59492) - you deserved it (15535)
On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48715) - you deserved it (7081)
On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)
Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25432) - you deserved it (66481)
On 04/04/2009 at 1:59am - intimacy - by GrandmasWhore (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (203511) - you deserved it (59407)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21759) - you deserved it (43013)
On 04/02/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (193792) - you deserved it (21257)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my wife of over 20 years told me she wants a divorce because she wants "a change in life". She has had the same mullet hair cut since '84. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66225) - you deserved it (7652)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was working at Target when an old woman asked me if I could help her find her favorite bra. I asked what brand it was when she replied "I'll check the tag". She lifted up the front of her shirt, and flipped one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54271) - you deserved it (3052)
On 03/06/2009 at 6:11pm - work - by laurenmay (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46012) - you deserved it (2456)
On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (121404) - you deserved it (12035)
On 03/03/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by eaa145 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13254) - you deserved it (379)
On 01/17/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5103) - you deserved it (21886)
On 01/16/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by Gob - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9257) - you deserved it (5272)
On 01/07/2009 at 12:53am - misc - by maaaryy - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14080) - you deserved it (8496)
On 11/30/2008 at 5:51am - misc - by Groom - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was having a smoke out on the balcony of my apartment. When I was walking back into the house, I walked straight into the large glass sliding door, loudly whacking it with my forehead, subsequently waking up my 2 other flatmates at 2.30am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6413) - you deserved it (13277)
On 11/18/2008 at 4:13pm - misc - by Andy - United Kingdom (Craigavon)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
