Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Mauskau

Online | Search for a member

Mauskau

280Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13794
  • Number of comments : 1817
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

About Mauskau : My name is Zabrina, I'm 4"11 and I'm a Fieldwork Technology Programmer. I would like to become a pilot but I'm too short for cadetships, so I will have to get there the hard way and spend lots of money but I might just stick to IT.

I live in Maidenhead, which is near London in England. I would like to have some hobbies other than gaming and weight training, but I don't have enough time between work and sleeping. I don't even have time for gaming anymore. ;-;

If you would like to have a conversation with me, please start it with something more interesting than "hello", "hi" or "hi babe". I'm not here for online dating, so please don't try. Thank you :>

Mauskau's page activity

Visits<b>CollinFuchs</b> - 14 hours ago<b>twistedtwincity</b> - 17 hours ago<b>misslostnfound</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Gillett</b> - yesterday at 3:31am<b>ItnStln511</b> - yesterday at 10:39pm<b>black_sher</b> - yesterday at 8:30pm<b>Cheeky_Fellow</b> - yesterday at 6:18pm<b>feetlvr</b> - yesterday at 4:01pm<b>pags06</b> - yesterday at 2:29pm<b>daveydavidson111</b> - yesterday at 8:57am<b>Angsty_Armadillo</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 1:43am<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:28am<b>ballerina2015</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 10:59pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 9:02pm<b>Anchovy11</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 7:36pm<b>codytallica</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 7:21pm<b>lurker_no_more</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 3:53pm<b>jtfrisch</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 3:49pm

Fucked!<b>Cheeky_Fellow</b> - yesterday at 12:19am<b>connaughty0225</b> - yesterday at 6:29am<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 9:00pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 4:45am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 2:14am<b>shadow_heart_13</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 3:52pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 11:47am<b>dustin007</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 8:38am<b>Coachjoost79</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 7:23am<b>Clapdaddy</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 7:17am<b>brandonwong</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 7:04am<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 4:48am<b>Kamorka</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:49am<b>goldfish78</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 2:28am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:45am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 1:31am<b>sandman676</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:28am<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 3:25am

Mauskau's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of Mauskau's badges

Mauskau's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29912) - you deserved it (13169)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28571) - you deserved it (3350)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37571) - you deserved it (9365)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29902) - you deserved it (25101)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48408) - you deserved it (4003)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43532) - you deserved it (27797)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found my 6 year old daughter upstairs lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving "the carpet a haircut." FML

#21221737
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35322) - you deserved it (4600)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:51am - kids - by ... (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35326) - you deserved it (11557)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37324) - you deserved it (4099)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40572) - you deserved it (4991)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38462) - you deserved it (5708)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

#20978310
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36808) - you deserved it (25825)

On 12/02/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Sherressa (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I asked a co-worker why he was wearing sandals, as they are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry with me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, he told her that I walked up to him and asked to suck his toes. FML

#20956059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41208) - you deserved it (3636)

On 11/13/2013 at 4:00am - work - by feetfreak (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: