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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Mauskau

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Mauskau
  • Town/Country : Maidenhead, England
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1996 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 5159
  • Number of comments : 587
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

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Mauskau's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was flying his toy helicopter at my head. It got stuck in my hair and I now have a bald patch. FML

#18939799 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (5298) - you deserved it (762)

On 01/29/2012 at 1:31am - misc - by honey soy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was cleaning my room and set my burnt out light bulb on my computer chair without any second thought. Later, I sat on the chair, the light bulb shattered and I got a huge gash on my butt. FML

#18939458 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (2417) - you deserved it (6403)

On 01/29/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (9945) - you deserved it (1890)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

#17643298 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (21295) - you deserved it (12265)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (10920) - you deserved it (920)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871 (325)

I agree, your life sucks (6942) - you deserved it (69361)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

#16611980 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (31754) - you deserved it (3654)

On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML

#16608434 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (31329) - you deserved it (1940)

On 06/11/2011 at 9:06am - health - by sickbaby (woman) - Singapore

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

#16571694 (376)

I agree, your life sucks (10946) - you deserved it (1657)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662 (405)

I agree, your life sucks (45442) - you deserved it (2994)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, the sewers in my town became overloaded. My basement is now filled with other people's poo. FML

#16454235 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (31874) - you deserved it (1910)

On 06/01/2011 at 4:40pm - misc - by L -

Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML

#16017618 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (32287) - you deserved it (2778)

On 05/02/2011 at 9:51am - health - by megomania (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML

#15621368 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (18564) - you deserved it (2742)

On 04/03/2011 at 1:41pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603 (332)

I agree, your life sucks (58539) - you deserved it (4290)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

#15617936 (394)

I agree, your life sucks (29396) - you deserved it (10330)

On 04/03/2011 at 7:27am - intimacy - by dahs - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)