About Mauskau : My name is Zabrina, I'm 4"11, my hair is naturally brown but I went blonde for a year, and apparently the app rotates my picture even though it is the right way round on my phone. I use the app on both my gs3 and awful 3rd gen iPod touch. I tend to see things differently to other people, I see the good in the bad and the bad in the good. I live in England, near London. Seeing people moan at people for using British spellings irritates me, a lot. I love British English. I laugh when people say "I speak American." No, sweetie, it's English.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42802) - you deserved it (4483)
On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada
Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18392) - you deserved it (35876)
On 05/05/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by LilaTheGreat - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17265) - you deserved it (32612)
On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (4012)
On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25630) - you deserved it (4967)
On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend was flying his toy helicopter at my head. It got stuck in my hair and I now have a bald patch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19835) - you deserved it (2317)
On 01/29/2012 at 1:31am - misc - by honey soy - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was cleaning my room and set my burnt out light bulb on my computer chair without any second thought. Later, I sat on the chair, the light bulb shattered and I got a huge gash on my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7698) - you deserved it (21943)
On 01/29/2012 at 12:50am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27079) - you deserved it (4425)
On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24198) - you deserved it (16133)
On 09/02/2011 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26791) - you deserved it (2304)
On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7537) - you deserved it (75698)
On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States
Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33281) - you deserved it (3818)
On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my parents grounded me and took away my phone, iPod and door. That's right, my door. They think that because I was stumbling and couldn't walk straight last night, I must have been out drinking. They know I suffer from chronic vertigo, but don't believe I was having an attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34097) - you deserved it (2498)
On 06/11/2011 at 9:06am - health - by sickbaby (woman) - Singapore
Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24495) - you deserved it (4076)
On 06/09/2011 at 12:06am - work - by grant b - United States (Texas)
Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48119) - you deserved it (3251)
On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)
Monday 20 May 2013
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