Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Mauskau

Offline (40 minutes ago) | Search for a member

Mauskau

377Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 15540
  • Number of comments : 1997
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 39 posted

About Mauskau : My name is Zabrina, I'm 4"11 and I'm a Fieldwork Technology Programmer. I would like to become a pilot but I'm too short for cadetships, so I will have to get there the hard way and spend lots of money but I might just stick to IT.

I live in Maidenhead, which is near London in England. I would like to have some hobbies other than gaming and weight training, but I don't have enough time between work and sleeping. I don't even have time for gaming anymore. ;-;

If you would like to have a conversation with me, please start it with something more interesting than "hello", "hi" or "hi babe". I'm not here for online dating, so please don't try. Thank you :>

Mauskau's page activity

Visits<b>lawls79</b> - 4 hours ago<b>amirahgomez</b> - 5 hours ago<b>mrchachie</b> - 17 hours ago<b>boricualuv</b> - 23 hours ago<b>Alex5074</b> - yesterday at 6:17pm<b>Stephanoze</b> - yesterday at 11:07am<b>besosforme</b> - yesterday at 8:35pm<b>epicx22</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 5:49pm<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 4:31pm<b>pickle682</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 1:07pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 7:57am<b>dumboleredneck</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 7:53am<b>fml_Rambo</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 6:00pm<b>shbgrinvdarc</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 5:48pm<b>AdrianFoo21</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 4:47pm<b>jonnied23</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:26pm<b>thatguy240</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 3:03pm<b>Zaros</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 2:16pm

Fucked!<b>dumboleredneck</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 1:54pm<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 12:19am<b>nash1991</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:04am<b>pop17123</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:46pm<b>droid1126</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 4:13am<b>zainman13</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 11:58am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 6:53am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 12:46am<b>booze_n_bitches</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 10:44pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 8:47pm<b>lesnotbehonest</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 8:13pm<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 4:08pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 9:03am<b>tiger820</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 4:47pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:08am<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 4:50am<b>zuvi9</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 9:32pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 12:04pm

Mauskau's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Mauskau's badges

Mauskau's favorite FMLs

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

#21476456
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22396) - you deserved it (3513)

On 10/05/2015 at 3:20pm - health - by ouch - United States (California)

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

#21459109
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19872) - you deserved it (7623)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:55pm - misc - by FishFlingingMonkey (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34079) - you deserved it (15837)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30925) - you deserved it (3614)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39010) - you deserved it (9689)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31294) - you deserved it (26141)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50758) - you deserved it (4195)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46731) - you deserved it (29810)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found my 6 year old daughter upstairs lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving "the carpet a haircut." FML

#21221737
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38790) - you deserved it (5214)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:51am - kids - by ... (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38675) - you deserved it (12906)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39782) - you deserved it (4336)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41993) - you deserved it (5111)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41406) - you deserved it (6060)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: