You see, my picture is my beloved Arnie. Everytime I see it, it makes me laugh. Just like this site. Always cheers me up :)
Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4040) - you totally deserved it (14134)
On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
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On 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8406) - you totally deserved it (17716)
On 10/28/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21672) - you totally deserved it (2004)
On 10/26/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by notsohot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML
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On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, my mom noticed that my bike chain was rusty so she decided to clean it without telling me about her good deed. She forgot to tighten it when she put it back on so when I tried riding later it locked up and I ended up smashing my nuts. My doctor told me I have to ice them for a week. FML
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On 09/13/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by triplem (man) - United States (California)
Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
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On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
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On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
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On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31130) - you totally deserved it (7297)
On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
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On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was driving to the grocery store with my 7 year-old son. When I was approaching a stop sign, I look next to me and see a guy with a triangle shaped head. I tell my son "Look at the guy with the triangle head." My window was open. So was his. FML
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On 05/03/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by mylifesucks123 (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML
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On 05/03/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then proceeded to take a long shower, clean up my room, get dressed, and eat breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML
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On 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by vinniesuckmadack (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
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On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
