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Mauskau

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

Mauskau

299Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14025
  • Number of comments : 1839
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

About Mauskau : My name is Zabrina, I'm 4"11 and I'm a Fieldwork Technology Programmer. I would like to become a pilot but I'm too short for cadetships, so I will have to get there the hard way and spend lots of money but I might just stick to IT.

I live in Maidenhead, which is near London in England. I would like to have some hobbies other than gaming and weight training, but I don't have enough time between work and sleeping. I don't even have time for gaming anymore. ;-;

If you would like to have a conversation with me, please start it with something more interesting than "hello", "hi" or "hi babe". I'm not here for online dating, so please don't try. Thank you :>

Mauskau's page activity

Visits<b>katachristic</b> - 4 hours ago<b>JordanODST</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Jake42100</b> - 12 hours ago<b>jsan727</b> - 15 hours ago<b>mylittlecookie</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Unlovable_Me</b> - 17 hours ago<b>serrawyn</b> - 18 hours ago<b>khorstmye</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Soninuva</b> - 20 hours ago<b>tehaustiebear</b> - 20 hours ago<b>JustMe1600</b> - yesterday at 11:35pm<b>Unused_Account13</b> - yesterday at 7:03pm<b>JMichael</b> - yesterday at 5:58pm<b>GeorgeCarter95</b> - yesterday at 4:17pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - yesterday at 3:12pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - yesterday at 12:16pm<b>IronMan_Mk43</b> - yesterday at 11:59am<b>daddysgirl243</b> - yesterday at 10:14am

Fucked!<b>mylittlecookie</b> - 10 hours ago<b>JokerJ312</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:00pm<b>jairienfaite</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:47am<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:36pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:24am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 6:19am<b>bridges13</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 9:08pm<b>jordanrecatto</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 8:55pm<b>jsan727</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:05pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:44am<b>lambda</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:41am<b>hgp285</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 4:58am<b>Dom_Olivares</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:29pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 5:51pm<b>cristy91</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 6:53am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 4:51pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:31am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 9:00am

Mauskau's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of Mauskau's badges

Mauskau's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29969) - you deserved it (13191)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28595) - you deserved it (3350)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37592) - you deserved it (9371)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29938) - you deserved it (25121)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48426) - you deserved it (4005)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43573) - you deserved it (27808)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found my 6 year old daughter upstairs lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving "the carpet a haircut." FML

#21221737
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35345) - you deserved it (4601)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:51am - kids - by ... (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37686) - you deserved it (12578)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37349) - you deserved it (4102)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40588) - you deserved it (4991)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38473) - you deserved it (5710)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

#20978310
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36819) - you deserved it (25831)

On 12/02/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Sherressa (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I asked a co-worker why he was wearing sandals, as they are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry with me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, he told her that I walked up to him and asked to suck his toes. FML

#20956059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41229) - you deserved it (3636)

On 11/13/2013 at 4:00am - work - by feetfreak (woman) - United States (California)



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