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Mauskau

Offline (the 03/18/2014 at 1:02am) | Search for a member

Mauskau

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9155
  • Number of comments : 1298
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

About Mauskau : My name is Zabrina, I'm 4"11 and I'm an apprentice IT engineer. I would like to become a pilot but I'm too short for cadetships, so I will have to get there the hard way and spend lots of money but I might just stick to IT.

I live in Maidenhead, which is near London in England. I would like to have some hobbies other than gaming, but I don't have enough time between work and sleeping.

If you would like to have a conversation with me, please start it with something more interesting than "hello", "hi" or "hi babe". I'm not here for online dating, so please don't try. Thank you :>

Mauskau's page activity

Visits<b>brettrb</b> - 15 hours ago<b>fearlesscooldude</b> - 18 hours ago<b>toomanyidiots</b> - yesterday at 12:31am<b>bjf21</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:54am<b>julio_23602</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:28am<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 4:07am<b>AlexKing17</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:57pm<b>EddieR7</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:29pm<b>aaaacccc2</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 4:30pm<b>zingline89</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:01am<b>Liiiiiiiiike</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:49am<b>elemonator</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 5:44am<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:13am<b>snorgia</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:51pm<b>mfaizsiddiqui</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:03pm<b>HitTheRoadJacK3</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:46pm<b>VWluke</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:01pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:40pm

Mauskau's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Mauskau's badges

Mauskau's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22888) - you deserved it (7424)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36070) - you deserved it (3964)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38286) - you deserved it (4750)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38151) - you deserved it (5685)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

#20978310
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35388) - you deserved it (24795)

On 12/02/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Sherressa (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I asked a co-worker why he was wearing sandals, as they are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry with me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, he told her that I walked up to him and asked to suck his toes. FML

#20956059
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40293) - you deserved it (3539)

On 11/13/2013 at 4:00am - work - by feetfreak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38760) - you deserved it (2576)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49135) - you deserved it (5264)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

#20643761
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20747) - you deserved it (40143)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by LilaTheGreat - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21773) - you deserved it (44807)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

#20469816
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27972) - you deserved it (4437)

On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

#20467403
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30966) - you deserved it (6593)

On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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