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MattiLainen

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MattiLainen

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5537
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MattiLainen's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:44pm<b>jessxoxo28</b> - the 01/14/2010 at 8:36pm<b>browneyedbeauty1</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 2:44pm

MattiLainen's FML badges

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MattiLainen's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78493) - you deserved it (5096)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

#2602287
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65819) - you deserved it (9308)

On 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML

#2560457
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13151) - you deserved it (53379)

On 06/03/2009 at 6:06am - work - by failedmusician (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML

#2551130
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42250) - you deserved it (9150)

On 06/02/2009 at 10:08pm - kids - by babybreath (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was cleaning my father's study room and wondering why I did not receive my acceptance/rejection letter from a college I really wanted. I found the acceptance letter, on his desk, also approving of a full scholarship. The deadline to confirm was a month ago. FML

#2545642
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (185581) - you deserved it (9042)

On 06/02/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by guamfml - Guam

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

#2537729
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62490) - you deserved it (15830)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

#2534485
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61784) - you deserved it (5612)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Higgs (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

#2527360
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85416) - you deserved it (7051)

On 06/02/2009 at 8:19am - intimacy - by Ariel (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36155) - you deserved it (61404)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

#2501660
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60062) - you deserved it (3535)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118755) - you deserved it (6593)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got a F. FML

#2492585
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48856) - you deserved it (7371)

On 06/01/2009 at 2:52am - misc - by crazyjohnny - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML

#2485875
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39598) - you deserved it (35942)

On 05/31/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by bluehairedfreakgirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

#2464637
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47464) - you deserved it (11592)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to Macy's to buy some bras. After I paid, the old lady cashier noticed there was pen on one of the bras. By accident I blurted out "It's alright. No one's seeing them." The old lady nodded back in agreement. FML

#2459641
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40112) - you deserved it (9537)

On 05/31/2009 at 9:04am - misc - by yikes78 - United States (New Jersey)



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