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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54852) - you deserved it (11480)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59661) - you deserved it (12179)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36892) - you deserved it (1002)
On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that my cheating, stealing ex boyfriend is posting pictures of naked women having group sex, with my face photoshopped onto them. He sent those to my boss, my friends, my family, only because I refused to bail his drunken self out of jail a couple weeks ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59191) - you deserved it (5173)
On 07/31/2009 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Spadiethestar (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49734) - you deserved it (13477)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54332) - you deserved it (5894)
On 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I decided I was going to dump my needy girlfriend. I was about to break the news when she stopped me. She showed me her new tattoo she had gotten. Our names, surrounded by a love heart spread across her back. She reckons I should get a matching one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56407) - you deserved it (5964)
On 07/27/2009 at 4:12am - love - by DAMMit (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37161) - you deserved it (2967)
On 07/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34811) - you deserved it (3257)
On 07/24/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37163) - you deserved it (9960)
On 07/24/2009 at 2:40am - love - by vanguardwiley (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59581) - you deserved it (3972)
On 07/21/2009 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Headphones (man) - United States
Today, I got a letter in the mail about my periodic health assessment for active duty Soldiers. I came back positive for two curable STD's that are extremely common on Fort Polk. I haven't had sex with anyone but my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63749) - you deserved it (3027)
On 07/19/2009 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by kareed3 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was meeting the mayor of a major city as part of an internship program. Seated directly in front of him during his presentation on the budget crisis, he unleashed an enormous, foul fart in front of the entire audience. And then blamed it on me, everyone believed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44020) - you deserved it (1908)
On 07/18/2009 at 4:10pm - work - by justdoingmyjob (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80534) - you deserved it (3854)
On 07/16/2009 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend of over a year said she has been faking her orgasms since the first time we've had sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39305) - you deserved it (15131)
On 07/14/2009 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by guess28 (man) - Puerto Rico
Monday 17 June 2013
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