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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11323) - you deserved it (45727)
On 08/25/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by damnit (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was outside with a guy I really like. He asked me to lay down on the ground and watch the stars with him. I did. Suddenly, he got up, walked over to another girl and kissed her. They left me there on the soaking wet ground, watching the stars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33338) - you deserved it (2522)
On 08/23/2009 at 7:00am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Buskerud)
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42594) - you deserved it (4740)
On 08/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by doomed (man) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my husband why he won't list me as his wife on Facebook. Apparently, it's because he doesn't want the high school friends he just reconnected with to know that he married "the biggest geek in the whole school." We went to the same high school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30652) - you deserved it (2384)
On 08/21/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I gathered the courage to ask my crush on a date. As I called her, she quickly answered and said "Can't talk right now, I'm in a movie theater." and then hung up. I'd called her home phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31218) - you deserved it (2019)
On 08/21/2009 at 11:36am - love - by sophistication (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47399) - you deserved it (33418)
On 08/20/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by younggrammy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72915) - you deserved it (5697)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7044) - you deserved it (71775)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to give the girl I am absolutely in love with advice on how to have better sex with her boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52613) - you deserved it (8123)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by shitforchris (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45765) - you deserved it (5602)
On 08/19/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by kneesarethenewdesk (man) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47150) - you deserved it (3629)
On 08/19/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by weeks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50639) - you deserved it (9073)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64416) - you deserved it (4521)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60718) - you deserved it (8174)
On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98348) - you deserved it (4142)
On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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