MattiLainen

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MattiLainen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7422
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MattiLainen's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:44pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:49am<b>jessxoxo28</b> - the 01/14/2010 at 8:36pm<b>browneyedbeauty1</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 2:44pm

MattiLainen's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

MattiLainen's favorite FMLs

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

by boner / 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

by Liam. / 02/01/2010 at 12:15am / Love

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

by JK / 01/31/2010 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML

by lauris1306 / 01/31/2010 at 2:03am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my roommate uses her twitter to complain about me. FML

by sparkle / 01/30/2010 at 11:01pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I was getting a divorce. My wife is leaving me for my brother, saying that now that he has money there is nothing that can stand in their way. I recently decided to send him money to help him get back on his feet. FML

by hahahaha090114 / 01/30/2010 at 1:59pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used the Print Screen button to take a picture of a really cute bag that I want for my birthday. After emailing it to my mom, I noticed I'd forgotten to close another tab in the browser. The tab had a very suggestive title, for an even more suggestive website. FML

by lala / 01/25/2010 at 12:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while babysitting, the little boy explained to me why I was single, reasons such as 'unattractive' and 'not the girlfriend type'. I cried. FML

by owned / 01/24/2010 at 6:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I broke my dominant hand. My teacher insists we hand-write our essays. I called and asked if it was okay for me to type up the essays. She said no. I have two essays due tomorrow, which count for half my grade. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2010 at 2:29pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2010 at 11:12am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said "Dude, I think she knows I'm going to break up with her." FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2010 at 12:21am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little brother learned to write his name. How did he tell the family? By writing it in permanent marker all over my 100 year old piano. FML

by onemoreruinedthing / 01/23/2010 at 7:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I asked my friend who is a fashion major why she didn't want to use me as a model for her senior project. She said my boobs were too big. I doubt it'd have been an issue if I were a girl. FML

by fatty / 01/23/2010 at 4:44pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

by PentiumBawls8 / 01/20/2010 at 5:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work