Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MattTheSlovenian

Search for a member

MattTheSlovenian

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 196
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

MattTheSlovenian's page activity

Visits<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 7:13pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 3:32am<b>crooklynkid</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 12:17am<b>StylinRylan</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 4:11am<b>pwmjm</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 7:42am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 3:06am<b>DaiCarmuhh</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 7:21pm<b>TulipCat</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 4:37am<b>ScottieJo</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 3:38pm<b>mnwlf13</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 3:00pm<b>maybeanigger</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:53pm<b>Alonzo_5841</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 2:11pm<b>SirPlagueRat</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 1:56pm<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 11:46am<b>bigredmonkeybutt</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 9:11am<b>abbeyshugah</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 8:08am<b>TheRandomIndian</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 7:20am<b>Kandi_Neko</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 10:22pm

MattTheSlovenian's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of MattTheSlovenian's badges

MattTheSlovenian's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42566) - you deserved it (2981)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

#20777221
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55567) - you deserved it (4332)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by ouch (man) - United States

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45597) - you deserved it (4709)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

#20766295
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52092) - you deserved it (4460)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:17am - love - by walker - United States

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58249) - you deserved it (4591)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

#20762850
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46436) - you deserved it (4396)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by brokeandhungry - United States

Today, I needed a change of clothes, so I called my mom. She brought me a grey shirt with a toucan on the front and Mexico City spelled in glitter. I asked her why she would bring me such an ugly shirt, and she started crying. Turns out she bought it for me as a present from her trip. FML

#20762834
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (50822)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by awwimanahole (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after spending four hours cooking food for a special family dinner, I went to take a shower before they arrived. I came back out less than twenty minutes later to find most of the food gone, and a very guilty-looking puppy. FML

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43123) - you deserved it (6637)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

#20733830
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56108) - you deserved it (5307)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: