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MathewBlack

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MathewBlack

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1169
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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MathewBlack's page activity

Visits<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:00am<b>magnetic_aura</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 4:32pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 8:55pm<b>adamo_erebus</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 1:16am<b>GranPappyBippy</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:10pm<b>superbopbop</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:57pm<b>oceancandy24</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:17am<b>NightKat</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:10pm<b>xxButtersxx</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 1:21am<b>scarman</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 6:36pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 10:10am<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 10:53am<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 11:31pm<b>silvermist9</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 9:20am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 7:26am<b>Thexba</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 11:43pm<b>deathposts</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 7:36am<b>Tomgirl_Julie</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 9:31am

MathewBlack's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of MathewBlack's badges

MathewBlack's favorite FMLs

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

#21022033
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (35123)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33527) - you deserved it (5052)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

#20530358
182 comments

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29593) - you deserved it (27416)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19780) - you deserved it (36458)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22682) - you deserved it (3067)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML

#20058797
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25300) - you deserved it (2140)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a small kid looked at me, screamed in terror, and hid behind his dad. I was just walking down the same aisle in the store. This is far from the first time it's happened. FML

#20051755
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20410) - you deserved it (2707)

On 09/01/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by KidKillah - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21779) - you deserved it (2961)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I shaved my legs. I received endless compliments about how great they looked, and how jealous all the girls were. I'm a guy who shaved them for a themed party, for which I dressed up as a girl. FML

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML

#19848904
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8911) - you deserved it (27382)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:18am - work - by cmck932012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out how my parents met. They met at a mental hospital, where they were both being hospitalized. FML

#19791945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29540) - you deserved it (2406)

On 06/15/2012 at 11:36am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22407) - you deserved it (78032)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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