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MasteredBastard

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MasteredBastard
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 August 1980 (33 years)
  • Number of visits : 828
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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MasteredBastard's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to break up with my girlfriend because I feel unappreciated. She fell asleep while I was attempting this. FML

#18225112
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27872) - you deserved it (3807)

On 11/12/2011 at 1:41am - love - by kirrby - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a promise ring. It was so sweet and romantic, until he said, "I want to marry you one day. But I want to date some other girls first." FML

#18224310
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36124) - you deserved it (2876)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:06am - love - by so romantic - United States (Texas)

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

#17297056
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40894) - you deserved it (3232)

On 07/29/2011 at 11:18am - work - by crazygirl12 - United States (Missouri)

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36654) - you deserved it (5847)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

#17092208
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25827) - you deserved it (2021)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28632) - you deserved it (2740)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was rear-ended while at a stop sign, by my driving instructor. FML

#16815939
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30137) - you deserved it (2331)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by Katie - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

#16812585
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34910) - you deserved it (2671)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:54am - money - by alo1434 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally used the statistics book that I forked out $120 to buy. To kill an ant. FML

#16706324
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18758) - you deserved it (7860)

On 06/17/2011 at 2:07am - misc - by jaybob18 - United States (New York)

Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML

#16697911
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24692) - you deserved it (2354)

On 06/16/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by vampire (woman) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

#16690191
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32379) - you deserved it (3793)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:37am - work - by Hank Gummyworm - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

#16687170
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30504) - you deserved it (8869)

On 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm - misc - by randomjulz - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

#16685518
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33757) - you deserved it (8661)

On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

#16677911
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62702) - you deserved it (10961)

On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a concert with my boyfriend. I was repeatedly ass-grabbed, grinded on and hit on by guys. My boyfriend's response was, "As long as they continue to bring you free beer, let them get a little feel of what they are paying for." FML

#16674026
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37245) - you deserved it (7940)

On 06/15/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by unknown - United States (California)



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