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MasteredBastard's favorite FMLs
by kirrby / 11/12/2011 at 1:41am / United States (Nevada) / Love
by so romantic / 11/12/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
by crazygirl12 / 07/29/2011 at 11:18am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
by hatemylife / 07/19/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Kids
by butimarealbear / 07/13/2011 at 9:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Katie / 06/23/2011 at 12:39pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation
by alo1434 / 06/23/2011 at 4:54am / United States (Illinois) / Money
by jaybob18 / 06/17/2011 at 2:07am / United States (New York) / Animals
by vampire / 06/16/2011 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous
by Hank Gummyworm / 06/16/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by randomjulz / 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm / United States / Love
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
by missy / 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm / United States (Alaska) / Transportation
Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML
by anonymous / 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I went to a concert with my boyfriend. I was repeatedly ass-grabbed, grinded on and hit on by guys. My boyfriend's response was, "As long as they continue to bring you free beer, let them get a little feel of what they are paying for." FML
by unknown / 06/15/2011 at 6:20am / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…
- Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had… Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words… Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on…