MasteredBastard

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Offline (the 03/10/2016 at 8:42am)

MasteredBastard

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 11 August 1980 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1963
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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MasteredBastard's page activity

Visits<b>footinthemouth07</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 11:08pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 7:02am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 8:49pm<b>balnuaimi</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 3:33pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 3:20pm<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 4:44pm<b>Averyniceperson</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 4:26pm<b>kristypls</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 6:47pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 4:20am<b>annamei</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 10:39pm<b>Slendyx</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 8:13pm<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 12:37pm<b>melaniexoxob</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 1:15am<b>jaffvis</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 4:47pm<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 2:01pm<b>Unicorn4life</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 12:46pm<b>alexmill</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 12:12pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 2:04am

MasteredBastard's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of MasteredBastard's badges

MasteredBastard's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to break up with my girlfriend because I feel unappreciated. She fell asleep while I was attempting this. FML

by kirrby / 11/12/2011 at 1:41am / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, my boyfriend gave me a promise ring. It was so sweet and romantic, until he said, "I want to marry you one day. But I want to date some other girls first." FML

by so romantic / 11/12/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

by crazygirl12 / 07/29/2011 at 11:18am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

by hatemylife / 07/19/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

by butimarealbear / 07/13/2011 at 9:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

by Username / 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was rear-ended while at a stop sign, by my driving instructor. FML

by Katie / 06/23/2011 at 12:39pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

by alo1434 / 06/23/2011 at 4:54am / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I finally used the statistics book that I forked out $120 to buy. To kill an ant. FML

by jaybob18 / 06/17/2011 at 2:07am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML

by vampire / 06/16/2011 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working the register at our local McDonald's. After a strange man left a massive order, he said, "Can I pay you in gummy worms?" FML

by Hank Gummyworm / 06/16/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

by randomjulz / 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm / United States / Love

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

by missy / 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm / United States (Alaska) / Transportation

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

by anonymous / 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I went to a concert with my boyfriend. I was repeatedly ass-grabbed, grinded on and hit on by guys. My boyfriend's response was, "As long as they continue to bring you free beer, let them get a little feel of what they are paying for." FML

by unknown / 06/15/2011 at 6:20am / United States (California) / Love