Master0fTheDark

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Master0fTheDark

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 April 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 657
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Master0fTheDark : I only comment if I have something to say, which isn't often; never for the sake of commenting.

Master0fTheDark's page activity

Visits<b>Amberisa</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 3:17am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 4:25pm<b>stevenJB</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 9:25am<b>Antonia583</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 12:06pm<b>GayMatt</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 11:13am<b>ronski</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 11:37pm<b>sktlzz14</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 10:27pm<b>The_Big_Boss</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 6:19pm

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

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Master0fTheDark's favorite FMLs

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

by assoutofuandme / 02/14/2013 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

by excusemeprincess / 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish byproduct. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

by firestar772 / 02/11/2013 at 10:48am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 8:53pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 8:00pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML

by and she doesn't even give bjs / 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm / Argentina (Distrito Federal) / Love

Today, after three and a half years of working dead-end jobs with a bachelor's degree, I got a call from a potential employer in my degree field, who wanted to set up an interview. The problem: the interview is across the country, and I'm too broke to pay the travel expenses. FML

by goingnowherefast / 02/08/2013 at 7:19pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

by theydidsmellitthough / 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

by mydadsgonnakillme / 02/08/2013 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML

by katelynm / 02/08/2013 at 1:24am / United States / Love

Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML

by Kybo5 / 02/08/2013 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Transportation