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Mass89

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Mass89

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 409
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Mass89's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

Today, I was cashier at work. The line came to a stop, but there was still people there. I kept saying next, but no one moved. I finally looked over the counter where there was a lady who had been standing there the whole time. She was a midget. FML

#13684047
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34799) - you deserved it (12651)

On 11/02/2010 at 2:20am - work - by saraleerocha - Sent from mobile version

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19454) - you deserved it (25915)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML

#13353894
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39565) - you deserved it (4256)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:26am - love - by Vinny1017 - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

#13331304
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14340) - you deserved it (30692)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm - animals - by jabba (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML

#12949008
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21651) - you deserved it (5728)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

#12757529
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33336) - you deserved it (14151)

On 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm - love - by Ido (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#5198874
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39844) - you deserved it (4781)

On 09/12/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by taman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51851) - you deserved it (3224)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

#4356271
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6081) - you deserved it (63687)

On 08/07/2009 at 5:18am - work - by cosmonaut (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
928 comments

I agree, your life sucks (351402) - you deserved it (38730)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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