Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Marie314

Offline (the 08/28/2014 at 11:14pm) | Search for a member

Marie314

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 March 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 689
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Marie314's page activity

Visits<b>jeesh10</b> - yesterday at 8:21am<b>Sublimeguy82</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 4:42pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 4:27pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:19am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:26am<b>aron1991</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:37am<b>Spetz14</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:09am<b>LillyAnneEvans</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:27pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:46pm<b>thegreatnumber8</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 12:25pm<b>mval10</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 4:33pm<b>Ben009</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 10:26pm<b>dextrementor</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 1:48pm<b>moksha</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:24am<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:53pm<b>dabears1011234</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 12:50am<b>football98</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:22am

Marie314's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Marie314's badges

Marie314's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38370) - you deserved it (3166)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

#21237384
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36483) - you deserved it (4538)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:06am - animals - by hopeless romantic - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37968) - you deserved it (23342)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45859) - you deserved it (5461)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML

#21219527
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50257) - you deserved it (4699)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by stupid older sister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49568) - you deserved it (11720)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40735) - you deserved it (3480)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46500) - you deserved it (8147)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40101) - you deserved it (16696)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49745) - you deserved it (4163)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46025) - you deserved it (8301)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

#21180887
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45261) - you deserved it (4707)

On 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm - love - by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

#21180513
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45881) - you deserved it (7658)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:33am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: