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Marie314

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Marie314

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 March 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 784
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Marie314's page activity

Visits<b>steeler088</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:21am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 8:10am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 12:03am<b>Nyx7</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 5:11pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:36pm<b>heffastera</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:43pm<b>jeesh10</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:21am<b>Sublimeguy82</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 4:42pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 4:27pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:19am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 12:26am<b>aron1991</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:37am<b>Spetz14</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:09am<b>LillyAnneEvans</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:27pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:46pm<b>thegreatnumber8</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 12:25pm<b>mval10</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 4:33pm

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Marie314's favorite FMLs

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28741) - you deserved it (2362)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

#21272259
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37649) - you deserved it (3756)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm - misc - by thanks babe - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36624) - you deserved it (13757)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41926) - you deserved it (4828)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48069) - you deserved it (4322)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went to my new gynecologist. He has an eye twitch, and every time he asks about my genitals, he winks at me. FML

#21237829
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39702) - you deserved it (3225)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

#21237384
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33615) - you deserved it (4555)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:06am - animals - by hopeless romantic - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40403) - you deserved it (25485)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47783) - you deserved it (5549)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML

#21219527
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50330) - you deserved it (4702)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by stupid older sister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50646) - you deserved it (11774)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41494) - you deserved it (3612)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46594) - you deserved it (8154)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40165) - you deserved it (16730)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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