MandaMalice

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MandaMalice

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 October 1979 (37 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2980
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MandaMalice's page activity

Visits<b>_Adog2645</b> - the 11/28/2016 at 9:42am<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:31am

MandaMalice's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

MandaMalice's favorite FMLs

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom yelling, "Mommy-mommy that lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

by n/a / 11/25/2009 at 2:36am / United States / Kids

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

by CT / 11/25/2009 at 1:42am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML

by ellie / 11/23/2009 at 1:09pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

by Sam / 11/22/2009 at 8:35pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

by SeeBrendenBurn / 11/21/2009 at 3:28am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML

by Cellphonetroubles / 11/19/2009 at 2:36am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

by nycplywood / 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

by anonymous / 11/16/2009 at 1:00am / Japan (Okinawa) / Kids

Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

by swedishdude / 11/14/2009 at 8:37am / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML

by ZINGER / 11/14/2009 at 1:02am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation