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MandaMalice

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MandaMalice
  • Town/Country : TEXAS
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 October 1979 (34 years)
  • Number of visits : 1124
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MandaMalice's favorite FMLs

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

#6791199
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21076) - you deserved it (4814)

On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML

#6752282
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28422) - you deserved it (8280)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by fatman (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

#6741094
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33822) - you deserved it (5212)

On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML

#6727065
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21578) - you deserved it (11827)

On 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm - kids - by ljjprchf (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

#6716817
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28938) - you deserved it (4748)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10272) - you deserved it (34791)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML

#6660964
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11779) - you deserved it (32668)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by cookscatastrophy - United States (California)

Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML

#6602015
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29576) - you deserved it (12294)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:01pm - misc - by lamed (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20666) - you deserved it (3003)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I cleaned out my husband's drawer. He had kept every love letter I wrote him for the past 7 years. I smiled, struck by how romantic he was. My bliss was short-lived as I realized that he had also kept every single love letter his other lovers wrote him while we were married. FML

#6547469
87 comments

Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML

#6534520
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21260) - you deserved it (5027)

On 11/30/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

#6532125
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21050) - you deserved it (1782)

On 11/30/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by NeedHeadPhone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33390) - you deserved it (5051)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

#6526778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31370) - you deserved it (2478)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Janer88 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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