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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30736) - you deserved it (1875)
On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17048) - you deserved it (3841)
On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on a plane. The person sitting next to me was using the plane's wifi, and was on Facebook. They joined the group 'I hate sitting next to fat people on airplanes'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27825) - you deserved it (8213)
On 12/14/2009 at 1:49pm - misc - by fatman (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear "we should break up" instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29586) - you deserved it (2566)
On 12/14/2009 at 12:00pm - misc - by samgonzalessb - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30453) - you deserved it (4300)
On 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (17381) - you deserved it (9374)
On 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm - kids - by ljjprchf (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28319) - you deserved it (4709)
On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8743) - you deserved it (27612)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11515) - you deserved it (32018)
On 12/08/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by cookscatastrophy - United States (California)
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26246) - you deserved it (10204)
On 12/04/2009 at 5:01pm - misc - by lamed (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15704) - you deserved it (2273)
On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I cleaned out my husband's drawer. He had kept every love letter I wrote him for the past 7 years. I smiled, struck by how romantic he was. My bliss was short-lived as I realized that he had also kept every single love letter his other lovers wrote him while we were married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34661) - you deserved it (3136)
On 12/01/2009 at 3:22am - love - by loveletterbullcrap09 (woman) - United States
Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17668) - you deserved it (3989)
On 11/30/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20450) - you deserved it (1751)
On 11/30/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by NeedHeadPhone (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29279) - you deserved it (4178)
On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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