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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3847) - you deserved it (27583)
On 01/10/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Lady (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20972) - you deserved it (24240)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53325) - you deserved it (2576)
On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while standing by the kitchen window I noticed a mouse running across our lawn on top of the snow. I called my two daughters to come see it, but by the time they got to the window a hawk was shredding the poor thing to pieces. My kids didn't stop crying for two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22194) - you deserved it (4713)
On 01/06/2010 at 3:41am - animals - by motheroftwo (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, whilst at my boyfriend's family get together, his cousin got really drunk and decided to ask my boyfriend when he was planning on proposing to me, loud enough for everyone to hear. An awkward silence was followed by my boyfriend's mother, who clearly said "hopefully never." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27347) - you deserved it (1709)
On 01/03/2010 at 1:53am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20369) - you deserved it (2478)
On 01/02/2010 at 10:22pm - kids - by arachnidphobia (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20693) - you deserved it (2127)
On 01/01/2010 at 8:03am - animals - by grosssss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31315) - you deserved it (15045)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14104) - you deserved it (1491)
On 12/30/2009 at 5:36am - intimacy - by kte (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the police called and told me that they had Alex in custody. Apparently, she had public sex with another woman and wants me to come bail her out. Alex is my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18693) - you deserved it (1586)
On 12/29/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by runescapeftw (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70306) - you deserved it (3935)
On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out the gift card my friend gave me for Christmas actually has no money on it and was never purchased in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19506) - you deserved it (1403)
On 12/26/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by DeannaMarie - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to a park and sat down next to this older lady. These kids started to fight and scream at each other. I leaned next to her and said, "Man am I glad those aren't MY kids." She turned to me and said, "Yeah, they're mine." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5229) - you deserved it (22840)
On 12/18/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Sardine (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20070) - you deserved it (3273)
On 12/18/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was talking to my aunt about my brother's recent arrest for drug possession. I proudly told her that I have never done drugs of any kind. Her response: "Well, actually you were born addicted to heroin, so you had a drug problem long before your brother." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (2239)
On 12/18/2009 at 2:23pm - health - by drugbaby (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 20 May 2013
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