MandaMalice

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MandaMalice

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 October 1979 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2762
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MandaMalice's page activity

Visits<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:31am

MandaMalice's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

MandaMalice's favorite FMLs

Today, I was putting groceries into my car, and I put the eggs on the driver's seat while I arranged my other bags. I was frustrated because the dome light was acting up, which drives me crazy. Once I got everything in, I crankily plopped into the car. I had never moved the eggs off my seat. FML

by EggyBum / 01/25/2010 at 8:41pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Transportation

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

by Ben / 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML

by weddingbells / 01/24/2010 at 8:02pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2010 at 7:10pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML

by nocatlover / 01/21/2010 at 4:40pm / United States / Kids

Today, I learned the hard way why they say "four on the floor" at school. I leaned too far back while rocking in the chair and fell off. I grabbed the desk to save myself and it came down too. FML

by jalapeno_popper / 01/21/2010 at 3:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

by Awkward / 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I checked my Facebook notifications to see that someone likes my new single status. My ex. FML

by hesaidwhat / 01/15/2010 at 12:07am / United States / Love

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

by boundandgagged / 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a fake MySpace so that I could flirt with my boyfriend and see what he would do. He ended up dumping me for the fake MySpace girl. FML

by BetterThanFake / 01/12/2010 at 7:03pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

by cold-n-stinky / 01/12/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

by Lady / 01/10/2010 at 7:21pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

by Hugh_Jankles / 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous