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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41884) - you deserved it (12576)
On 01/26/2010 at 4:26pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was putting groceries into my car, and I put the eggs on the driver's seat while I arranged my other bags. I was frustrated because the dome light was acting up, which drives me crazy. Once I got everything in, I crankily plopped into the car. I had never moved the eggs off my seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4993) - you deserved it (17826)
On 01/25/2010 at 8:41pm - misc - by EggyBum (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13083) - you deserved it (30693)
On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45802) - you deserved it (1494)
On 01/24/2010 at 8:02pm - love - by weddingbells (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I have been dating an incredibly gorgeous woman. She had a poor self image and after the longest time, I finally convinced her to seek counselling to help her self esteem. It worked. So well in fact that she just broke up with me because she "finally realized she could do so much better" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25235) - you deserved it (3630)
On 01/22/2010 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20318) - you deserved it (2122)
On 01/21/2010 at 4:40pm - kids - by nocatlover (man) - United States
Today, I learned the hard way why they say "four on the floor" at school. I leaned too far back while rocking in the chair and fell off. I grabbed the desk to save myself and it came down too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4237) - you deserved it (21146)
On 01/21/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by jalapeno_popper (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42746) - you deserved it (6374)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53901) - you deserved it (6264)
On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I checked my Facebook notifications to see that someone likes my new single status. My ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21886) - you deserved it (4721)
On 01/15/2010 at 12:07am - love - by hesaidwhat - United States
Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (3468)
On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went for a ride with my son. I noticed he didn't have his seat belt on. To teach him a lesson, I drove very slowly and hit the brakes really hard. The impact was greater than I thought, so my son hit his head against the window and left a huge crack. He just laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5432) - you deserved it (43620)
On 01/13/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by Joe (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I made a fake MySpace so that I could flirt with my Boyfriend and see what he would do. He ended up dumping me for the fake MySpace girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11012) - you deserved it (34547)
On 01/12/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by BetterThanFake (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18962) - you deserved it (6246)
On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26859) - you deserved it (2467)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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