MandaMalice

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MandaMalice

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 October 1979 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2344
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MandaMalice's page activity

Visits<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:31am

MandaMalice's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

MandaMalice's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I found a pile of animal skeletons scattered in my backyard. It appears that last night, mother nature decided to rain so hard, that the graves of my childhood pets floated back up to the top, and covered half of my field. I now have to pick all of it up before my dog sees them. FML

by L.Lime05 / 08/08/2010 at 7:27pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty followed by the bed springs bouncing for 3 minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

by JDLAX1924 / 08/05/2010 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend proposed. He said we’d go pick up the ring tomorrow. Then he asked to borrow $40 to get it out of pawn. He pawned it when his ex gave it back to him. FML

by 34_22_34 / 07/28/2010 at 3:27pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

by Marie / 07/27/2010 at 3:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was practising the violin in my apartment. A man knocked on the door and introduced himself with a smile, saying he wanted to know my "schedule." I replied, "I'm pretty busy but maybe we could get a drink sometime." To which he replied, "No, I just want to know when you'll stop." FML

by holly / 07/18/2010 at 10:18am / Germany (Berlin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML

by BambooLove / 07/15/2010 at 2:53am / United States / Love

Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML

by rofld / 07/14/2010 at 12:47pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

by anonymous / 02/27/2010 at 11:06am / United States / Love

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year old boyfriend having sex. FML

by ryan and Zack / 02/25/2010 at 5:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

by OmniVore / 02/25/2010 at 4:42am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Love

Today, a guy I'd been seeing off and on for the past three years broke things off over a Facebook message. I replied, and told him that I was at least worth a phone call. He replied "Well, I'm sorry, I disagree." FML

by notworthit / 02/22/2010 at 7:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my dog barked for 30 minutes with me yelling for him to shut up. Guess that's how long it takes someone to steal the rims from my truck. Good dog. FML

by rimjob / 02/20/2010 at 5:36am / United States / Transportation

Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML

by merse / 02/18/2010 at 8:20am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my boyfriend gave me a really sweet poem that he wrote for me. I think it was secondhand - the first letter of each verse spelled his ex girlfriend's name. FML

by blaze / 02/16/2010 at 7:00pm / United States (Arizona) / Love