MandaMalice

Search for a member

MandaMalice

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 October 1979 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2524
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

MandaMalice's page activity

Visits<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:31am

MandaMalice's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

MandaMalice's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML

by Flaps / 11/27/2010 at 7:36am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years. I took the whole day to cook a nice meal, and stuck the ring in a cookie that I was going to give to her. In the middle of the dinner I was holding the cookie under the table, about to give it to her. My dog ate it. FML

by ryansmithho / 11/24/2010 at 2:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

by Lisaaa / 10/27/2010 at 7:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML

by Vinny1017 / 10/07/2010 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

by Andrew / 09/24/2010 at 6:22am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

by Devon / 09/03/2010 at 12:35am / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, I decided to drive my mothers Bentley. She is out of town and told me not to go near the car. Being 17, I didn't listen. As I was backing out the driveway, I was hit by an SUV, seriously damaging my moms car. Who was driving the SUV? My mom, coming home early. FML

by ohseven6421 / 09/03/2010 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was taking the subway to school. I was applying some makeup when I noticed a little boy watching me. When I was finished I heard him whisper to his mom, "I thought make up was supposed to make you pretty." FML

by ugly / 08/31/2010 at 8:11am / United States / Transportation

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

by tikizombie / 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

by bkay26 / 08/29/2010 at 11:37am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, was my uncle's funeral. He was cremated, and his wish was to have his ashes spread into the sea. As we were waiting for the waves to come and take him away, a group of seagulls came by picking at all his ashes. I guess he tasted good. FML

by SeagullsShouldDie / 08/28/2010 at 2:07am / United States / Animals

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

by vstan / 08/24/2010 at 8:48pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

by lizardface / 08/23/2010 at 6:44pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids