About ManInTheMachine : "Education is great; Provided, that is, you actually get educated." ~Anonymous For the time being, I will not be commenting on the weekends. Otherwise I will be on here regularly. Please, do not take my username literally. Do not call me Robot, cyborg, etc. My username was only chosen as a result of not being able to log into my old account.As long as you're not an idiot, an 'animal', or an arrogant fool, chances are I'm quite fond of you. If I make a mistake, feel free to point it out to me. I try my best to cross my T's and dot my I's, but I am human, and do make mistakes. It would be appreciated. :)If you have any *personal* issues with me aside from my comment, either PM me or thumb me down. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. It's flattering that you care enough about an online commenter to bitch me out, but I honestly couldn't care less. Cheers.
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21087) - you deserved it (2468)
On 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm - misc - by JohnBlack (man) - United States
Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22213) - you deserved it (2296)
On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18914) - you deserved it (1188)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by dany - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23261) - you deserved it (2172)
On 05/22/2012 at 10:32am - love - by angry girlfriend - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10483) - you deserved it (25099)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20294) - you deserved it (4696)
On 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (9387)
On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34277) - you deserved it (4136)
On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States
Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his fifteen year old daughter, the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (3122)
On 07/15/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by kacysospacyy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41272) - you deserved it (7485)
On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23240) - you deserved it (2378)
On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26864) - you deserved it (2388)
On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got called a f***ing b**ch by one of my students. I teach kindergarten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38398) - you deserved it (5158)
On 05/29/2010 at 10:36pm - work - by love_today - Canada (Quebec)
Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30861) - you deserved it (3076)
On 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm - kids - by Michele (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26217) - you deserved it (3797)
On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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