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ManInTheMachine

Offline (the 07/01/2014 at 2:05am) | Search for a member

ManInTheMachine

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4557
  • Number of comments : 1625
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 73 posted

About ManInTheMachine : "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." -Albert Einstein

Please, do not take my username literally. Do not call me Robot, cyborg, etc. My username was only chosen as a result of not being able to log into my old account.

As long as you're not an idiot, an 'animal', or an arrogant fool, chances are I'm quite fond of you. If I make a mistake, feel free to point it out to me. I try my best to cross my T's and dot my I's, but I am human, and do make mistakes. It would be appreciated. :)

If you have any *personal* issues with me aside from my comment, either PM me or thumb me down. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. It's flattering that you care enough about an online commenter to bitch me out, but I honestly couldn't care less. Cheers.

ManInTheMachine's page activity

Visits<b>andreamanson</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Snuggly03</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Googolman</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 3:44pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:19pm<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:13am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 9:21pm<b>KagamineRinny</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 10:34am<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:51am<b>Baustigt</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:17pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 8:00pm<b>Wolf_ZX</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 2:26pm<b>will5801</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:28pm<b>715chiefs</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:16pm<b>GoldFishPony</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 2:15am<b>Cb2011</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 1:37am<b>drivingmissdaisy</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 12:03pm<b>loopysoupy</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 10:32am<b>glowbaby</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 2:25am

ManInTheMachine's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of ManInTheMachine's badges

ManInTheMachine's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML

#20195064
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33854) - you deserved it (1849)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML

#20183504
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7978) - you deserved it (81606)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

#20165792
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22336) - you deserved it (1552)

On 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

#20165330
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22017) - you deserved it (3431)

On 11/16/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Gangnam (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

#20163115
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23026) - you deserved it (3261)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

#20163099
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22272) - you deserved it (1626)

On 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22099) - you deserved it (2877)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26054) - you deserved it (2134)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML

#20155705
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30573) - you deserved it (1616)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

#20154716
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27102) - you deserved it (2116)

On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17667) - you deserved it (3977)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17667) - you deserved it (3977)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML

#20146253
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5665) - you deserved it (28740)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by justcomesnaturally (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27606) - you deserved it (2855)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

#20141026
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20472) - you deserved it (9151)

On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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