About ManInTheMachine : "Education is great; Provided, that is, you actually get educated." ~Anonymous For the time being, I will not be commenting on the weekends. Otherwise I will be on here regularly. Please, do not take my username literally. Do not call me Robot, cyborg, etc. My username was only chosen as a result of not being able to log into my old account.As long as you're not an idiot, an 'animal', or an arrogant fool, chances are I'm quite fond of you. If I make a mistake, feel free to point it out to me. I try my best to cross my T's and dot my I's, but I am human, and do make mistakes. It would be appreciated. :)If you have any *personal* issues with me aside from my comment, either PM me or thumb me down. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. It's flattering that you care enough about an online commenter to bitch me out, but I honestly couldn't care less. Cheers.
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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16593) - you deserved it (3684)
On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31115) - you deserved it (1603)
On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I came home to find all of the wood in my house either broken or gone. On the now legless table there was a note from my mother, saying that she needed the wood to build a boat, and that I will thank her when the world ends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (1223)
On 12/09/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by woodless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after two weeks of being grounded, I was finally let out of the house by my mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me, because I got so drunk, I told my ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3789) - you deserved it (53529)
On 12/09/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by Tasha_1996 (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me, and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15771) - you deserved it (1774)
On 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28101) - you deserved it (1480)
On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by sonofahypocriticalwhore (man) - United States
Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6228) - you deserved it (61663)
On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States
Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17474) - you deserved it (1054)
On 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16305) - you deserved it (2510)
On 11/16/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Gangnam (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17688) - you deserved it (2316)
On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17242) - you deserved it (1123)
On 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16532) - you deserved it (1956)
On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20417) - you deserved it (1705)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)
Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24199) - you deserved it (1051)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20061) - you deserved it (1342)
On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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