ManInTheMachine

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Offline (the 09/19/2015 at 1:02am)

ManInTheMachine

17Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7461
  • Number of comments : 1625
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 73 posted

About ManInTheMachine : "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." -Albert Einstein

Please, do not take my username literally. Do not call me Robot, cyborg, etc. My username was only chosen as a result of not being able to log into my old account.

As long as you're not an idiot, an 'animal', or an arrogant fool, chances are I'm quite fond of you. If I make a mistake, feel free to point it out to me. I try my best to cross my T's and dot my I's, but I am human, and do make mistakes. It would be appreciated. :)

If you have any *personal* issues with me aside from my comment, either PM me or thumb me down. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. It's flattering that you care enough about an online commenter to bitch me out, but I honestly couldn't care less. Cheers.

ManInTheMachine's page activity

Visits<b>flyingflies</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 1:58am<b>Laeffy</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 5:21pm<b>legoman213579</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 11:08pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 7:32pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 1:35am<b>jackt815</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 5:01pm<b>KingPinkiepie</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 1:25pm<b>teenagedropout</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 3:22pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 3:43am<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 7:52am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:34pm<b>SkoomaKi</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 9:49am<b>donaldthegrump</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 8:43pm<b>bheaze</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 9:02pm<b>checkthemilk</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 10:34am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 11:30am<b>Autistic_Slut</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 1:55am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 7:11am

Fucked!<b>walker9879</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 7:35am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 8:34pm<b>donaldthegrump</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 2:43am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 10:38am<b>magicdust95</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:16pm<b>bugmenotmofo</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 5:07pm<b>rowanrules41</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 4:54pm<b>max367</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 5:54am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:43am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Musicforlife29</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:26pm<b>AlexxGhost</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:38pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:35pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:41pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 11:14am<b>seetei</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:13am<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 6:56pm

ManInTheMachine's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of ManInTheMachine's badges

ManInTheMachine's favorite FMLs

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

by cls_x / 02/24/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

by mypelvishurts / 02/23/2013 at 2:32am / United States (California) / Work

Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love

Today, I felt like letting my ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number, typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. The reply: "No wonder he broke up with you." Thanks, whoever has that number now. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 4:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum got the idea of switching to a different dishwashing detergent. The new one is so strong that it coats all the dishes in a nauseating perfume-like smell. It's so pungent that it gets absorbed into everything we eat or drink. She's determined to use up the entire bottle. FML

by selena5112 / 02/15/2013 at 1:50pm / Norway (Troms) / Health

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

by assoutofuandme / 02/14/2013 at 2:39am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

by Target / 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

by dab1230 / 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

by Fireguy92 / 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

by swollenpenis / 01/25/2013 at 1:11am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing here for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home and introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved your asses in World War 2." FML

by oh ffs / 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average. Feeling good about myself, I decided to bake some cookies. After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven, I realized I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

by steven / 01/24/2013 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous