ManInTheMachine

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Offline (the 09/19/2015 at 1:02am)

ManInTheMachine

17Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7488
  • Number of comments : 1625
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 73 posted

About ManInTheMachine : "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." -Albert Einstein

Please, do not take my username literally. Do not call me Robot, cyborg, etc. My username was only chosen as a result of not being able to log into my old account.

As long as you're not an idiot, an 'animal', or an arrogant fool, chances are I'm quite fond of you. If I make a mistake, feel free to point it out to me. I try my best to cross my T's and dot my I's, but I am human, and do make mistakes. It would be appreciated. :)

If you have any *personal* issues with me aside from my comment, either PM me or thumb me down. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. It's flattering that you care enough about an online commenter to bitch me out, but I honestly couldn't care less. Cheers.

ManInTheMachine's page activity

Visits<b>flyingflies</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 1:58am<b>Laeffy</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 5:21pm<b>legoman213579</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 11:08pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 7:32pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 1:35am<b>jackt815</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 5:01pm<b>KingPinkiepie</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 1:25pm<b>teenagedropout</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 3:22pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 3:43am<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 7:52am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:34pm<b>SkoomaKi</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 9:49am<b>donaldthegrump</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 8:43pm<b>bheaze</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 9:02pm<b>checkthemilk</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 10:34am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 11:30am<b>Autistic_Slut</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 1:55am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 7:11am

Fucked!<b>walker9879</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 7:35am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 8:34pm<b>donaldthegrump</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 2:43am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 10:38am<b>magicdust95</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:16pm<b>bugmenotmofo</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 5:07pm<b>rowanrules41</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 4:54pm<b>max367</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 5:54am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:43am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Musicforlife29</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:26pm<b>AlexxGhost</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:38pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:35pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:41pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 11:14am<b>seetei</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:13am<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 6:56pm

ManInTheMachine's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of ManInTheMachine's badges

ManInTheMachine's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

by Miami6and3 / 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my manager made me remove an Eiffel Tower ornament from one of my displays. Not because it didn't look good or match the theme, but because it was "disrespectful" to have it out on the 4th of July. FML

by unpatriotic / 07/04/2013 at 9:13am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML

by grammarnazi-forareason / 07/03/2013 at 2:48am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Work

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Intimacy

Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML

by fuck wannabe knowitalls / 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

by mackmackey / 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 6:23am / Canada / Work

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

by sn-511 / 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm / Italy (Campania) / Intimacy