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Maleficus

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Maleficus
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 570
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Maleficus's last visitors

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Maleficus's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Mobility

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Maleficus's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the position I thought I had earned by working hard was only to separate me from my coworkers because I "talked too much". Instead of addressing the issue like adults, I've essentially been put in time-out. FML

#20972860
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30577) - you deserved it (6688)

On 11/27/2013 at 7:25pm - work - by firefromherlips - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after moving miles to be with my boyfriend, I logged onto his computer just in time to see his other girlfriend had sent naked pictures. FML

#20972839
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45016) - you deserved it (4589)

On 11/27/2013 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by unluckylassy - Ireland

Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML

#20972427
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39263) - you deserved it (3705)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw my long-distance boyfriend for the first time in 8 months. He dumped me on the spot because I was "uglier" than he remembered. FML

#20972385
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56383) - you deserved it (8279)

On 11/27/2013 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me over text message while I was away for work. She later posted photos of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, while still wearing my engagement ring. FML

#20972059
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48951) - you deserved it (2544)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51am - love - by grantsidiots - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40218) - you deserved it (4980)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39514) - you deserved it (11466)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60816) - you deserved it (4207)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

#20969207
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (2965)

On 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm - work - by fuggers :/ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "our priorities aren't the same." Her priorities turned out to be getting into my coworker's pants. FML

#20969114
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37837) - you deserved it (2314)

On 11/24/2013 at 2:59pm - love - by bsulyingb (man) - United States

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

#20968136
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41229) - you deserved it (3809)

On 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57927) - you deserved it (4168)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

#20967638
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39471) - you deserved it (3045)

On 11/23/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by AshleyRose24 (woman) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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