Major_Whupass

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Major_Whupass

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1128
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Major_Whupass's page activity

Visits<b>kenyrabit</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 2:17pm<b>marvelvsdc</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 11:50pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 4:11am<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 11:24pm<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 3:04am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 10:54pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 11:48am<b>jerryj</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 4:00pm<b>harlz31</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 5:36pm<b>eddie367</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:46am<b>Ins3rtEpicName</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:50pm<b>yuubi</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 6:15pm<b>Blackhawk706</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 2:31am<b>redwolf213</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:23pm<b>KBGL</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:57pm<b>LynxieLynx</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 2:45pm<b>badluckguy278</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 9:26pm<b>AliceWhovian</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 4:57am

Major_Whupass's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Major_Whupass's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

by radioinvader / 10/28/2012 at 8:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

by NoorFML / 10/19/2012 at 10:37am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

by bargainshopper / 10/16/2012 at 7:28am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

by Mike / 10/16/2012 at 4:07am / United States / Kids

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm / United States / Money

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

by Unfortunate / 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

by justabitembarrassed / 10/07/2012 at 10:20am / United States (Ohio) / Love