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Major_Whupass

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Major_Whupass

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  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 618
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Major_Whupass's page activity

Visits<b>Ins3rtEpicName</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 11:50pm<b>yuubi</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 6:15pm<b>Blackhawk706</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 2:31am<b>redwolf213</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:23pm<b>KBGL</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:57pm<b>LynxieLynx</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 2:45pm<b>badluckguy278</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 9:26pm<b>AliceWhovian</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 4:57am<b>DanShowsNoMercy</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 1:36am<b>tribute32</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 3:24pm<b>air_bound_rhino</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 1:01am<b>CeQueJeFerais</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 10:45pm<b>bayleebug316</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 7:44pm<b>loligaterpie</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 11:33pm<b>saenz30</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 7:12pm<b>EliBilida</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 5:26pm<b>His_Holiness</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 9:39pm<b>DestinysChampion</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 10:17am

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Major_Whupass's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20248) - you deserved it (3182)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29627) - you deserved it (4513)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30845) - you deserved it (18114)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

#20119331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19444) - you deserved it (11071)

On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24863) - you deserved it (2520)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (3316)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

#20115322
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29019) - you deserved it (3636)

On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

#20113923
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17825) - you deserved it (1718)

On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74840) - you deserved it (8763)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33752) - you deserved it (5508)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

#20109009
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17537) - you deserved it (6959)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32964) - you deserved it (3435)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36573) - you deserved it (12244)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19574) - you deserved it (4192)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)



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