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MajorLeObvius

Offline (the 10/28/2014 at 11:35pm) | Search for a member

MajorLeObvius

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 239
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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MajorLeObvius's page activity

Visits<b>barbsillvy</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 1:00am

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MajorLeObvius's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16533) - you deserved it (109486)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, I was walking along the beach at night with my family. A huge wave came up and knocked me over. When we got to the van, I realized that the keys that had been in my pocket were now in the ocean. Our cell phones, shoes, and money were in the van. We had to walk three miles to our hotel. FML

#20831839
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40399) - you deserved it (6189)

On 08/11/2013 at 3:28am - misc - by cricketsins (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML

#20831608
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23260) - you deserved it (60644)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

#20830853
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59964) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML

#20828881
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42100) - you deserved it (13908)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:22am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47511) - you deserved it (17746)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I ran into my shitlord of an ex at the store. He took one look at me, yelled "You cheating bitch!" in a wounded voice, then walked away, fake-crying. I got so many dirty looks. The worst part is that I dumped him last month for cheating on me with my "best friend." FML

#20827624
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50128) - you deserved it (3343)

On 08/08/2013 at 5:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47560) - you deserved it (8749)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, I was leaving my friends' apartment in my mom's car and I backed into a fire hydrant. I lied and told my mom it was a hit and run. So she called the apartment complex. They had me on video hitting the fire hydrant. FML

#20824837
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20041) - you deserved it (53729)

On 08/07/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by why me?? - United States (Nevada)

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

#20823686
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57590) - you deserved it (14346)

On 08/06/2013 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54121) - you deserved it (18178)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60835) - you deserved it (5973)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

#20817380
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49016) - you deserved it (4949)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

#20799401
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59438) - you deserved it (5654)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by MenstruallyFrustrated - United States (Arizona)



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