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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11079) - you deserved it (53646)
On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)
Today, at work, my computer started acting up. I told my boss I could fix it, but he told me to call the IT department instead. Neither the IT technician or his supervisor could figure it out, so I showed them what was wrong and how to fix it. I was promptly fired for wasting 2 hours of company time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27017) - you deserved it (2565)
On 01/05/2011 at 3:25pm - work - by worksux (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer asked me to give 5 adjectives describing myself. I listed 7. The last one being "listener." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4187) - you deserved it (21191)
On 01/03/2011 at 10:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I built a snowman. When I'd finished, I went inside to get a scarf and carrot for the nose. As I came back outside, a snowplough ran it over, and the driver waved at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17456) - you deserved it (3560)
On 12/07/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I heard on a local radio a song I wrote almost 2 years ago. Apparently, after my family and I moved away, my former band found a new guitar player, and that song is now the first single of their debut LP. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32915) - you deserved it (2546)
On 08/03/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by nowhereman1990 (man) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)
Today, I bought my girlfriend an expensive chihuahua puppy because she was never allowed to have one as a kid. She was so excited and happy so she leaned in to give it a kiss. It bit her in the face, she had to get stitches, and they put the $500 dog to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27198) - you deserved it (4890)
On 07/29/2010 at 7:13pm - money - by Joseph (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9529) - you deserved it (31178)
On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
I agree, your life sucks (29759) - you deserved it (4219)
On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of 'Fight Club'. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18604) - you deserved it (8590)
On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was watching TV. During a very long commercial break, I found my brothers PSP charger next to me. Out of boredom I put my tongue on the end on the metal. Not only did it fry my tongue but found its way to my metal filling in my tooth. I now have a sore tongue and a throbbing toothache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2629) - you deserved it (49102)
On 12/17/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Shocked (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26753) - you deserved it (2656)
On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)
Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12796) - you deserved it (23740)
On 11/16/2009 at 2:32am - love - by Manstobe92 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my credit card number was stolen. The thief used it to purchase identity theft protection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24605) - you deserved it (1474)
On 11/10/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got a new CD player for my car and an alarm installed for added security. After work, I saw my windows smashed, the CD player gone, the alarm wires cut, and a note that said, "Try again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24673) - you deserved it (1501)
On 11/10/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21752) - you deserved it (3456)
On 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by bob (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
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