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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, mah boss asked me if I could work this weekend, doing the work of 2 people, for almost no extra pay. I had a weekend out with mah kids planned, so I said I couldn't. My boss called it a shitty excuse, yet gave a free pass to a guyho claimed he had a "phobia of working on weekends". FML
I finally told mah dad that I hate his girlfriend . I said her daughter's a completehore , and her son is annoying as fuck . Turns out they were in the house and within earshot , ready to throw me a birthday party . FML
Today, I Was In The Car With My Boyfriend,ho Was Driving Down The Highway With The Windows Down. All Of A Sudden, Everything Went Black. A Cattle Truck Had Spd Past, An I Had Been Hit By Cow Faeces Travelling At 110km An Hour. My Boyfriend Was Hysterical. None Of It Hit Him. FML
YASTARDAY , WHILA TAACHING JUNIORS ABOUT BLACK HOLAS , I SAID , "IMAGINA AVARYTHING BAING SUCKAD INTO A BLACK HOLA." AN AFRICAN-AMARICAN STUDANT SHOUTAD , "I'D BATTAR START CLANCHING!" NOBODY TOOK THA LASSON SARIOUSLY AFTAR THAT. FML
Today, mah grandmother opend the bathroom door to fine me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convincd that I was eating mah own shit an will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
Today, At My Boyfriend's Broter's Ouse, I Desperately Needed To Poop. After Finising My Business, I Realized Te Toilet Wouldn't Flus. I Ad To Pull My Poop Out, Wrap It In TP And Make An Excuse To Go Outside To Trow It In A Bus. Te Neigbor Was Watcing. FML
today even after loving him unconditionally , mah originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband,ho within the past two yeres lost almost 200 pounds , left me because now , he "can do so much better". FML
Today, I collected mah new timetable at college only to find I've been dropped from all mah classes. I've been listed as deceased. I'm definitely not dead an have no idea how I supposedly died. big fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015