About Maddy_Moore : Hey, I'm Maddy. I'm not all that interesting honestly. Feel free to message me if you want though.
Maddy_Moore's FML badges
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Maddy_Moore's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 11:00am / South Africa / Kids
Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML
by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2015 at 6:57am / Ukraine (Donets'ka Oblast') / Transportation
Today, my boss at my new job described a client as "retarded". I corrected him with "mentally disabled". He smirked and replied "Whatever. Just explain things to her real slow. After all, she's 'mentally disabled'. And a woman." I need this job so bad that I'll have to just put up with this asshole. FML
by Anonymous / 08/07/2015 at 10:27am / United States (California) / Work
by clutzirella / 08/07/2015 at 2:32am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML
by Stinky and Single / 08/06/2015 at 7:14pm / United States / Love
by pudh / 08/05/2015 at 7:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/03/2015 at 9:28pm / United States (Alaska) / Love
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML
by ahhh / 08/03/2015 at 2:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML
by FUCKFACECUNT / 08/02/2015 at 9:32am / United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi) / Work
by Wlanla / 08/02/2015 at 7:39am / Romania (Bacau) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/02/2015 at 5:16am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, while at work, I mustered up the courage to talk to a cute girl. I asked her name, to which I replied with mine and that it was nice to meet her. She followed up with a dirty look and the fact she hates anyone with my name. FML
by I'mMike / 08/01/2015 at 4:19pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I, along with two cops and another paramedic, had to fight to pin down some total scumsucker. He was high out of his mind on god knows what, in his underwear, screaming like a maniac outside someone else's house at 2 in the morning. I don't get paid nearly enough for this shit. FML
by hook me up with some smack, Jack / 08/01/2015 at 2:18am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by Oihana / 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
- Today, at my job as a cashier, I told two young boys who had no parents with them to stop playing.… Today, I decided it would be a good idea to take a seasonal allergy benadryl because I can't sleep,… Today, My friend came into class and randomly decided to bite me hard enough to leave a bite marks…
- Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, my wife was talking to our 9 month-old baby. “Your father really is an example.” I smiled,… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…