My name rhymes with Catalina , like Catalina Island .(:
www.twitter.com/MissMadalena
Today, my dad got really drunk. When I was about to go to bed, he was just coming out of the bathroom, he was fully naked, I immediately turned away and said "Okay Dad, time for bed". Thinking that I was my mum, he replied with "That's right bitch, I'm your daddy, I'll show you in bed". FML
I agree, your life sucks (82798) - you totally deserved it (2966)
On 05/17/2009 at 10:22am - misc - by mynickhuh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40160) - you totally deserved it (13801)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my roommate and I were walking to a bar and a group of guys shouted out at us "Hey, it's like we're on Animal Planet, I see a zebra and a gorilla." My roommate was wearing a zebra print shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37516) - you totally deserved it (2786)
On 05/09/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41850) - you totally deserved it (10704)
On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs this hobo was peeing. Two seconds before, I told my friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43435) - you totally deserved it (1722)
On 05/01/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by DudeManBro69 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I took a bath with what I thought was my waterproof vibrator. It wasn't. Apparently my boyfriend found me passed out in the tub from an electric shock with my vibrator floating next to me. He refused to call a doctor and insisted on interrogating me about what he's doing wrong in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38521) - you totally deserved it (30315)
On 05/01/2009 at 5:46am - misc - by uhoh (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised I punched my mom in the face when she screamed SURPRISE! FML
I agree, your life sucks (39101) - you totally deserved it (12269)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Em (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40235) - you totally deserved it (6542)
On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I tasted the rainbow. By that, I mean a homeless man hit me in the face with a bag of Skittles for not giving him money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69300) - you totally deserved it (8886)
On 04/03/2009 at 5:43am - money - by rovery (man) - United States (California)
Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friends apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10650) - you totally deserved it (69082)
On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20992) - you totally deserved it (52143)
On 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm - work - by Donzai (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50175) - you totally deserved it (15775)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55993) - you totally deserved it (5295)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by justanaccount (woman) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9407) - you totally deserved it (34616)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by AppoKing (man) - United States (Virginia)
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