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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Macadamia

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Macadamia
  • Town/Country : Las Vegas, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 October 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 833
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Macadamia : First Mission: to favorite every FML that ends with "punched me in the face."
Mission Accomplished! 10/25/10.

Next Mission: to favorite every FML that is shorter than ten words.

Macadamia's last visitors

Zebrasofa13ha

Macadamia's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Macadamia's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to tell my boyfriend to stop inviting his mother on our dates. FML

#14710566 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (29537) - you deserved it (3639)

On 01/25/2011 at 4:16pm - love - by lovehim (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML

#14671725 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (41018) - you deserved it (3426)

On 01/22/2011 at 8:00am - intimacy - by fmlalways - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

#14518129 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (19925) - you deserved it (3962)

On 01/09/2011 at 5:18am - intimacy - by S - Singapore

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

#14398309 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (18300) - you deserved it (2198)

On 12/30/2010 at 5:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

#14316473 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (16850) - you deserved it (6340)

On 12/23/2010 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by troubleintoyland (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML

#14120068 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (4552)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:25pm - kids - by Cherie - United States (New York)

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

#13915907 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (11665) - you deserved it (38787)

On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my girlfriend and I were lying in her bed. We fooled around and were about to have sex as she suddenly began to cry without any reason. She cried for 30 minutes until I finally managed to calm her down. She said there was no reason for her crying. Then she fell asleep. FML

#13830899 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (23618) - you deserved it (3259)

On 11/13/2010 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

#13728170 (197)

I agree, your life sucks (19963) - you deserved it (3616)

On 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML

#13671939 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (5857) - you deserved it (35991)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML

#13624123 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (44207) - you deserved it (3131)

On 10/28/2010 at 5:26am - love - by monogamous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML

#13577689 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (4989) - you deserved it (21944)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML

#13576310 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (18956) - you deserved it (2752)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:11pm - love - by Moeswifey - United States

Today, my parents told me about how they met. I'd already known they were eight years apart, but I never knew my dad started dating my mom when he was 21 and she was 13. FML

#13561698 (374)

I agree, your life sucks (38790) - you deserved it (2500)

On 10/23/2010 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

#13559273 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (26882) - you deserved it (6027)

On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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