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Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24477) - you deserved it (1680)
On 02/25/2012 at 1:33am - misc - by BadGuyLuck (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6891) - you deserved it (20945)
On 02/25/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by ashleynicolle (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24210) - you deserved it (1531)
On 02/25/2012 at 12:36am - misc - by Samm Povich - United States
Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24210) - you deserved it (1531)
On 02/25/2012 at 12:36am - misc - by Samm Povich - United States
Today, my oven decided that it was going to lock and clean itself right in the middle of cooking my steaks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20308) - you deserved it (2639)
On 02/25/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to use antiperspirant deodorant under my breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19483) - you deserved it (4601)
On 02/24/2012 at 10:05am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, my mother-in-law thought it would be appropriate to give my five-year-old daughter some bedclothes with the Playboy logo all over them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19405) - you deserved it (2101)
On 02/24/2012 at 8:26am - kids - by Joanne (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was preparing dinner for my in-laws for the first time. Nervous, I accidentally spilled the pasta into the sink. With nothing else to prepare, I quickly scooped it all back out. No-one would have been any the wiser, if the kitchen sponge hadn't shown up in the middle of the meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8205) - you deserved it (23861) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10521) - you deserved it (26997)
On 02/23/2012 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16384) - you deserved it (2732)
On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my wife is pregnant again. During her last two pregnancies, she craved pop-tarts and screamed bloody murder at the drop of a hat, so I went out and bought a box for her. Turns out that this time, pop-tarts make her want to puke. Cue screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24939) - you deserved it (3560)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30570) - you deserved it (2840)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by vsshopper (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5154) - you deserved it (32973)
On 02/22/2012 at 11:47am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6350) - you deserved it (11874)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by jenni6488 - United Kingdom (Gateshead)
Monday 20 May 2013
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