Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

MWhinery95

Offline (the 02/02/2014 at 3:51am) | Search for a member

MWhinery95

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13072
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

MWhinery95's page activity

Visits<b>NaN101</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 5:24am<b>MrEd</b> - the 12/14/2012 at 4:46am<b>bryan788</b> - the 11/19/2012 at 7:41pm<b>ladydragonstars</b> - the 10/27/2012 at 1:12pm<b>FMyLifeGod040</b> - the 08/21/2012 at 3:30pm<b>RussianFox</b> - the 07/12/2012 at 1:23pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 07/12/2012 at 1:01pm<b>itsa_maddy</b> - the 07/12/2012 at 12:52am<b>ydi_4_suking</b> - the 07/11/2012 at 4:26am<b>arennie13</b> - the 07/11/2012 at 12:25am<b>l_teil</b> - the 07/10/2012 at 10:57am<b>uberdubers</b> - the 07/10/2012 at 8:12am<b>Abruun</b> - the 07/10/2012 at 5:46am<b>Iz_Dolan</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 10:50pm<b>erin37</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 10:22pm<b>jwbfml</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 8:15pm<b>kvdfan</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 6:31pm<b>MrBrightside21</b> - the 07/09/2012 at 11:53am

MWhinery95's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of MWhinery95's badges

MWhinery95's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11396) - you deserved it (33801)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

#19276451
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27698) - you deserved it (2468)

On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (19206)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML

#19275863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22016) - you deserved it (3851)

On 03/14/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

#19274783
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6663) - you deserved it (27349)

On 03/13/2012 at 11:22pm - misc - by Emma Five (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

#19274332
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17639) - you deserved it (5754)

On 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm - work - by Simms (man) - United States

Today, I hooked up with my ex-girlfriend, after she confessed to still being in love with me. I logged into Facebook after she left, only to find her status set to "I think I just made a big mistake." FML

#19272838
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25535) - you deserved it (8033)

On 03/13/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML

#19271191
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (2527)

On 03/13/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Samantha - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

#19271086
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25004) - you deserved it (3615)

On 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm - health - by PixieWrists - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML

#19270798
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25751) - you deserved it (2241)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by lanu (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

#19270252
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31947) - you deserved it (7720)

On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

#19268925
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23635) - you deserved it (7995)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a hand cramp from popping zits on my face. FML

#19268637
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10383) - you deserved it (21722)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:03am - health - by pagvscgrac - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized how poor I am when I had to use sharpies to color in the worn spots on my dress shoes before leaving for work. FML

#19265043
203 comments


FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: