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Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4838) - you deserved it (18489)
On 03/13/2012 at 11:22pm - misc - by Emma Five (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12477) - you deserved it (4174)
On 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm - work - by Simms (man) - United States
Today, I hooked up with my ex-girlfriend, after she confessed to still being in love with me. I logged into Facebook after she left, only to find her status set to "I think I just made a big mistake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17917) - you deserved it (6761)
On 03/13/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16300) - you deserved it (2075)
On 03/13/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Samantha - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18950) - you deserved it (2523)
On 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm - health - by PixieWrists - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16189) - you deserved it (2430)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:50pm - work - by lovefortoday (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18953) - you deserved it (1495)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by lanu (man) - United States
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22432) - you deserved it (5269)
On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17553) - you deserved it (6936)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got a hand cramp from popping zits on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8333) - you deserved it (17667)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:03am - health - by pagvscgrac - United States (Missouri)
Today, I realized how poor I am when I had to use sharpies to color in the worn spots on my dress shoes before leaving for work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19045) - you deserved it (1896)
On 03/12/2012 at 4:12pm - money - by bowser_rawr16 (woman) - Canada
Today, on my way to work, I had to squeeze by a man sitting in a large truck parked next to my car. I was in a bit of a hurry and in my rush the collar of my shirt got caught on his grill. My shirt ripped and I flashed the guy my entire boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19476) - you deserved it (2822)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:28am - work - by titillating (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I moved out of my apartment by the highway and airport, and into a new place below people who blast loud music, stomp their feet, and slam doors throughout the night. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in over a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14737) - you deserved it (1567)
On 03/11/2012 at 10:13pm - misc - by SakuraFubuki92 - United States (Florida)
Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19147) - you deserved it (1960)
On 03/11/2012 at 6:37pm - misc - by daninalani (woman) - United States (California)
Today, in the locker room at work, someone tried writing "douche bag" on my locker, and misspelled it four times before apparently giving up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17006) - you deserved it (1520)
On 03/11/2012 at 1:39am - work - by The Last One (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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