This member hasn't filled in the description.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33329) - you deserved it (2416)
On 03/16/2012 at 6:38am - love - by elisabeth_pwnes - Norway (Vestfold)
Today, I managed to staple my finger while showing my kindergartner class how to properly use one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7049) - you deserved it (12382)
On 03/16/2012 at 2:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24828) - you deserved it (3214)
On 03/15/2012 at 10:21pm - love - by spermbankonlegs (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19952) - you deserved it (911)
On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20401) - you deserved it (3584)
On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16569) - you deserved it (1653)
On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16226) - you deserved it (4123) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21601) - you deserved it (2184)
On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband started getting frisky, but I wasn't in the mood, so I said I'd just like to cuddle and talk. He decided a good topic of conversation was whether or not it would be physically possible to smoke my grandma's ashes from the cremation urn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14570) - you deserved it (7820)
On 03/14/2012 at 9:32pm - misc - by solyana vr1 - United States
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25496) - you deserved it (4298)
On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6902) - you deserved it (38213)
On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8072) - you deserved it (21555)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20773) - you deserved it (1898)
On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)
Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22505) - you deserved it (12957)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)
Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16504) - you deserved it (2773)
On 03/14/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
