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MWhinery95

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MWhinery95
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6472
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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MWhinery95's favorite FMLs

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

#19343109
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20295) - you deserved it (1661)

On 03/25/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by LesToiliettes - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML

#19341181
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15505) - you deserved it (1980)

On 03/24/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I started a new blog that I've been planning for weeks. So far, the only comments I've received are a dozen spam links, two people correcting my grammar, and a lady telling me I'm going to burn in hell for calling the Pope a noob. FML

Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML

#19340403
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16050) - you deserved it (4816)

On 03/24/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by sheilob (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

#19340135
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13224) - you deserved it (3482)

On 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

#19336672
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20915) - you deserved it (7626)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)

Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML

#19332021
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (3911)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:23am - health - by cjd - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

#19330918
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43691) - you deserved it (4210)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

#19327826
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19599) - you deserved it (2744)

On 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by Chey - United States (California)

Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML

#19326564
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26565) - you deserved it (2317)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm - misc - by busfail - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out what a bottle of regurgitated wine looks like on white bedsheets. FML

#19325916
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12748) - you deserved it (8206)

On 03/22/2012 at 10:59am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML

#19324505
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25731) - you deserved it (3407)

On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

#19324398
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20317) - you deserved it (4737)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML

#19324348
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21960) - you deserved it (5619)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

#19323804
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (5777)

On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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