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Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22491) - you deserved it (1710)
On 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm - misc - by busfail - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out what a bottle of regurgitated wine looks like on white bedsheets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10053) - you deserved it (6260)
On 03/22/2012 at 10:59am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had to re-grade a student's assignments because neither he, nor his parents can read "Spanish." I'd written in cursive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22195) - you deserved it (3089)
On 03/22/2012 at 1:13am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a women asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16789) - you deserved it (3558)
On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18904) - you deserved it (4393)
On 03/22/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19656) - you deserved it (4383)
On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13399) - you deserved it (4446)
On 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8164) - you deserved it (45184)
On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20886) - you deserved it (1392)
On 03/21/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Username - United States (New York)
Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18259) - you deserved it (8848)
On 03/21/2012 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by tellingthetruth (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13877) - you deserved it (1692)
On 03/21/2012 at 9:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16680) - you deserved it (5803)
On 03/21/2012 at 8:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19076) - you deserved it (1954)
On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)
Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19076) - you deserved it (1954)
On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)
Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19076) - you deserved it (1954)
On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)
Monday 20 May 2013
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