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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I agree, your life sucks (18924) - you deserved it (2086)
Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18947) - you deserved it (3965)
On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31014) - you deserved it (3812)
On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18846) - you deserved it (7122)
On 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by idrathernotgiveoutmyname (woman) - Canada
Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm and cause cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14918) - you deserved it (3377)
On 01/30/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by dumb mother (man) - United States (California)
Today, like every other day, my boss referred to my breasts as pillows he needs to nap on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26265) - you deserved it (3271)
On 01/20/2012 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Emily27 (woman) - United Kingdom (East Lothian)
Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10654) - you deserved it (16423)
On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)
Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16150) - you deserved it (28386)
Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25143) - you deserved it (3569)
On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23781) - you deserved it (4086)
On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40974) - you deserved it (5770)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33299) - you deserved it (3927)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (10129)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19749) - you deserved it (7000)
On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35255) - you deserved it (7732)
On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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