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MRflyingplatypus

Offline (the 11/16/2014 at 5:54pm) | Search for a member

MRflyingplatypus

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 790
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About MRflyingplatypus : Hey, person visiting my profile! There is nothing really to see, but if you want, feel free visit!

MRflyingplatypus's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of MRflyingplatypus's badges

MRflyingplatypus's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34146) - you deserved it (4987)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML

#19135287
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24977) - you deserved it (3210)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by nothowtheydoitinalabama - United States (Oregon)

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

#19117584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28634) - you deserved it (2830)

On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29938) - you deserved it (4706)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, I had to chase my naked brothers around my house for twenty minutes, trying to get them to take a bath, all while they were chasing my best friend around yelling, "IT'S WIENER TIME!" FML

#19076647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23924) - you deserved it (2467)

On 02/14/2012 at 5:29pm - kids - by ShylaMarie - Canada

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

#19062994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24025) - you deserved it (4523)

On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37030) - you deserved it (4290)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

#18956321
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24442) - you deserved it (8005)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by idrathernotgiveoutmyname (woman) - Canada

Today, my mother yelled at me for standing too close to the microwave. Her reason? The radiation was going to seep through, kill my sperm and cause cancer. FML

#18956163
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19791) - you deserved it (4534)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by dumb mother (man) - United States (California)

Today, like every other day, my boss referred to my breasts as pillows he needs to nap on. FML

#18860090
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33569) - you deserved it (4444)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Emily27 (woman) - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

#18784375
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14230) - you deserved it (24507)

On 01/12/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Armagh)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19952) - you deserved it (39237)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31720) - you deserved it (4844)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30366) - you deserved it (5365)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48645) - you deserved it (7735)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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