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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18266) - you deserved it (1962)
On 03/17/2012 at 12:37am - work - by CDeVeney92 - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21601) - you deserved it (2184)
On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17308) - you deserved it (16213)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)
Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13792) - you deserved it (4033)
On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - health - by wtbfiber (man) - United States
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23927) - you deserved it (3302)
On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26977) - you deserved it (1251)
On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (131) - you deserved it (2729)
On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom
Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22404) - you deserved it (2800)
On 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by . - United States (California)
Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15350) - you deserved it (5416)
On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25215) - you deserved it (2456)
On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally broke down and told my mom that I'd relapsed with my eating disorder. She told me to quit whining and eat a burger because she didn't want to pay for another therapy session. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19206) - you deserved it (7643)
On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - health - by SmallTownCutie -
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27064) - you deserved it (3680)
On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my dad was complaining about how he makes so little money, so I suggested he invent something. The first thing that came to his mind was an automatic animal masturbator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18490) - you deserved it (2607)
On 02/21/2012 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by nothowtheydoitinalabama - United States (Oregon)
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22193) - you deserved it (1937)
On 02/19/2012 at 8:14pm - love - by Nicole - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22886) - you deserved it (3957)
On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada
Monday 20 May 2013
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