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MRflyingplatypus

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MRflyingplatypus
  • Town/Country : somewhere
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 281
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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MRflyingplatypus's favorite FMLs

Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

#20429423
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36043) - you deserved it (1847)

On 12/29/2012 at 3:25am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

#20429355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13401) - you deserved it (19473)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11358) - you deserved it (24374)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

#20148958
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21568) - you deserved it (1650)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14415) - you deserved it (2122)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room". FML

#20084453
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16197) - you deserved it (1082)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML

#19837078
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12919) - you deserved it (17648)

On 06/24/2012 at 1:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

#19823545
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17029) - you deserved it (860)

On 06/21/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

#19730259
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24754) - you deserved it (2157)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a girl started talking to me at the bus stop. After it descended into an awkward silence, I jumped on my bus to avoid further conversation. She got on the same bus. And got off at the same stop. I swear the whole bus could feel the tension. FML

#19714803
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15185) - you deserved it (2913)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:24am - love - by Silent (man) - Singapore

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

#19708903
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21188) - you deserved it (1395)

On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML

#19700460
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18880) - you deserved it (1868)

On 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm - kids - by liquid_sasquatch - United States

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7626) - you deserved it (28327)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I got fired from my job at a weight-loss center because I was too skinny, and apparently it's too depressing for the customers to handle. FML

#19677400
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18226) - you deserved it (2304)

On 05/25/2012 at 7:18am - work - by jingle - United States (Delaware)

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

#19673871
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14398) - you deserved it (1452)

On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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Monday 20 May 2013

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