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MILKCOWS

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MILKCOWS

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 August 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 775
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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MILKCOWS's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard a couple talking behind me. She said, "You wanna know what's really scary?" He said, "the size of that guy? Yeah he's huge", to which she replied, "no, the scary thing is that's a chick." They weren't talking about me, but they sure were talking about my girlfriend. FML

#847487
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58762) - you deserved it (7901)

On 04/07/2009 at 12:53am - love - by effedfosh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML

#844380
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9662) - you deserved it (89653)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
923 comments

I agree, your life sucks (343235) - you deserved it (38402)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML

#834791
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59171) - you deserved it (5304)

On 04/06/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was going on a dinner date with a girl I had just met. After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster. She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones. Confused I nodded. She replied, "Sorry, I don't eat red meat." I laughed. She was serious. FML

#834791
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59171) - you deserved it (5304)

On 04/06/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML

#827000
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61205) - you deserved it (4168)

On 04/05/2009 at 11:14pm - work - by maconda99 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about 5 minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped and she went to the bathroom. After waiting around 10 min, I decided to check if she was ok. The window was open. She was gone. FML

#818670
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97865) - you deserved it (33413)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by dfhgblsf (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

#818669
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61559) - you deserved it (8339)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by jonas_93 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

#818669
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61559) - you deserved it (8339)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by jonas_93 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

Today, I walked past a church with a bunch of people standing outside waiting for the bride and groom to walk out. When the church doors opened, I yelled congratulations as loud as I could. It was a funeral. FML

#811533
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18476) - you deserved it (70646)

On 04/05/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

#809473
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24384) - you deserved it (60231)

On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother and I went to lunch and there is a really cute waiter that works at the diner. I requested him to wait on us like I sometimes do. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard one waiter say to the cute one, "Ya, the creepy one is back, and this time she brought her mom!" FML

#801391
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17631) - you deserved it (62176)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by bezoar10 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML

#800940
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35678) - you deserved it (163333)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my son for a walk to tell him about the passing of our family dog. As we were walking by the river, Ozzy (our deceased dog) was laying on the riverbank. My son thought he just ran away and we found him. Turns out my husband was too cheap to pay the 100$ vet disposal fees. FML

#796743
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71982) - you deserved it (5282)

On 04/04/2009 at 5:19am - animals - by cheaphubbyswife - Canada (Northwest Territories)



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