MF__II

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MF__II

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 31 July 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 578
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MF__II's page activity

Visits<b>whinthy</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 9:57pm<b>chellee_</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 2:19am<b>hannnahmarie</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 2:03pm<b>regann_alexis</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 10:17pm<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 6:01am<b>Danielle7994</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 2:50am<b>Danilynn221</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 3:10pm<b>diceddiamonds</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 1:09am<b>xYin</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 7:48pm<b>paramedicine</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 2:07am<b>ohjoy15</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 8:54pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 5:04am<b>attitude_angel</b> - the 04/03/2013 at 1:22am<b>thentaniasaid</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 4:00pm<b>CharDee</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 5:52pm<b>babygirl_015</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 7:35pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 2:45pm<b>OlgaCornmuffin</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 9:23am

MF__II's FML badges

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MF__II's favorite FMLs

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2013 at 12:43am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

by Ugh / 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

by Laila / 02/20/2013 at 7:01am / United States / Kids

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

by WeakerThanaLittleGirl / 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm / United States / Health

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

by ELparano / 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm / Canada / Transportation

Today, I woke up from an explicit dream involving my dentist. I'm scheduled for a conscious sedation appointment with him in two hours and I'm terrified of what I might say or do while I'm under. FML

by ugh / 12/26/2012 at 9:05am / United States (Ohio) / Health