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MDNative

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MDNative
  • Town/Country : Sacremento, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 November 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 261
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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MDNative's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

#21074219
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37007) - you deserved it (16391)

On 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41609) - you deserved it (8935)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as my boyfriend went to go down on me, he felt it necessary to stop at my stomach and clean the lint out of my belly button. 5ML

#21038584
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34650) - you deserved it (18566)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44632) - you deserved it (4864)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41994) - you deserved it (3854)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40105) - you deserved it (3457)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

#20874309
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49648) - you deserved it (19871)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing hysterically, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36094) - you deserved it (2464)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42462) - you deserved it (7013)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45698) - you deserved it (16289)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27108) - you deserved it (37672)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47685) - you deserved it (4224)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

#20824090
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53927) - you deserved it (4434)

On 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm - love - by (._. ) (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49424) - you deserved it (7867)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49424) - you deserved it (7867)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)



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