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LuminousKing

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LuminousKing

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 19 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 932
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About LuminousKing : Nothing you need to know.

LuminousKing's page activity

Visits<b>bookgirl_7</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 6:06pm<b>Cian_1</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 2:26am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 1:32am<b>lo_and_behold</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 12:55am

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LuminousKing's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

#19606194
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6561) - you deserved it (27479)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:33am - misc - by anamota89 (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17370) - you deserved it (29737)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

#19440536
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20536) - you deserved it (2427)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

#19421032
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22105) - you deserved it (2840)

On 04/07/2012 at 12:32am - animals - by day001313 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML

#19361987
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6379) - you deserved it (34493)

On 03/28/2012 at 2:57am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

#19343644
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23299) - you deserved it (2975)

On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)

Today, I was out with my dog, who loves to bury things. He had recently torn apart his toy and buried it in the sand. I saw a piece of it sticking out of the ground, so I picked it up. It turns out that I was not holding his toy, but rather a dead bat. FML

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

#19312851
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21587) - you deserved it (2386)

On 03/20/2012 at 7:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I got my dog back from my aunt. Rather than taking him to an actual groomer, I gave him to my aunt because she needed a few extra bucks. My generosity lost me $35, and gave my dog ticks and a bad haircut. FML

#19304528
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17817) - you deserved it (4683)

On 03/18/2012 at 11:09pm - animals - by tickdog - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML

#19301320
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10535) - you deserved it (16624)

On 03/18/2012 at 3:18pm - love - by Jacklyn - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a group of attractive guys at the mall. One of them looked exactly like a friend, so I decided to take a picture. Trying to be discreet, I put my phone up to my ear as if I was making a phone call, and pressed the capture button. The flash went off. FML

#18114247
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7930) - you deserved it (40959)

On 10/30/2011 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML

#5716405
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31767) - you deserved it (7712)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by belle_arina (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

#1918683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58297) - you deserved it (6930)

On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)



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