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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3803
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Lozza's page activity

Visits<b>tacobutt</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 8:44pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:06am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 7:02pm<b>SlimDanny</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 12:36pm<b>HunkyMumbles</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:17am<b>Hunter2323</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 4:55pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:58pm<b>stlcards220</b> - the 12/05/2009 at 10:29am<b>ch2358</b> - the 11/25/2009 at 4:40pm<b>neophantom</b> - the 08/12/2009 at 3:43am<b>blargity</b> - the 07/30/2009 at 5:34pm<b>leoofbodom</b> - the 07/04/2009 at 3:23pm<b>mari0958</b> - the 07/04/2009 at 2:50pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 9:40pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 6:06am

Lozza's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Lozza's favorite FMLs

Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind she called "can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her un-load bags. She began hitting me, screaming "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML

by LGFLIPSTER / 08/30/2009 at 11:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML

by lily / 08/30/2009 at 4:17pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, it was my first day at a new school. I pulled into the parking lot and saw this really cute guy. I was checking him out in my rear view mirror. When I looked ahead, there was something in the road, so I swirved real hard and took down an entire wooden fence. That something was a plastic bag. FML

by Distracted / 08/13/2009 at 8:18am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML

by auslander / 08/12/2009 at 4:13pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML

by callerid / 08/03/2009 at 7:45am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML

by Anonymous / 08/02/2009 at 5:20pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was 'A man running'. I didn't even get an apology. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out if you slide down the stairs on a foam matress topper, it just folds under instead of sliding. Then you slide the rest of the way down on your knees and break your nose at the bottom. FML

by ohhmydamn / 07/31/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

by dumbo / 07/30/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2009 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML

by daRN / 07/02/2009 at 3:34pm / Bahrain (Al Manamah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML

by DaveAlmighty / 07/02/2009 at 3:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was given the best news of my life. I am cancer free and am not, at the ripe age of 23 going to bite the dust. My husband left his journal on the nightstand in our bedroom. He wrote, "I feel like a bad person, but if she dies, I don't have to get divorced." FML

by rockstarohyeah / 07/02/2009 at 2:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML

by S4L / 07/02/2009 at 12:13am / Miscellaneous