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Up and coming moderator
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18016) - you deserved it (1384)
On 01/22/2012 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27025) - you deserved it (2017)
On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29743) - you deserved it (3718)
On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24479) - you deserved it (2852)
On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23178) - you deserved it (2031)
On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43143) - you deserved it (11802)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23222) - you deserved it (4128)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32635) - you deserved it (4784)
On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29688) - you deserved it (6816)
On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35618) - you deserved it (22850)
On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29030) - you deserved it (2379)
On 02/06/2011 at 9:36pm - misc - by LimpMcgee (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I spent the morning in the ER with a broken arm. My little brother was in such a rush to get his presents first, that he violently shoved me out of the way on the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19955) - you deserved it (1688)
On 12/25/2010 at 1:33pm - misc - by Connor - United States (New York)
Today, while at a local river, I had been pulled underwater by a very fast and strong current. While fighting for my life, I had let go of my sandals so I could pull myself up. After explaining to my mom what had happened to me, her response was "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21720) - you deserved it (2370)
On 09/19/2010 at 10:11am - misc - by lifesuck - United States
Today, my future father-in-law, a respectable New England gentleman, bought me an $8,000 viola and bow for our engagement. I was so surprised that I spit a glass of wine from a 60 year old bottle all over his custom-tailored suit. He was not happy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21442) - you deserved it (8788)
On 06/20/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Mr.Viola (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was crying because my cat died. My boyfriend cupped my face in his hands, looked me straight into the eyes and said, "I love seeing you cry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28209) - you deserved it (2763)
On 03/10/2010 at 11:08am - love - by sliceddice (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)
Monday 20 May 2013
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