Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Love_Darcy

Search for a member

Love_Darcy
  • Town/Country : Chubbuck, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 September 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2714
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Love_Darcy : Eh

Love_Darcy's last visitors

roundnproud

Love_Darcy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Love_Darcy's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband has been out of town for a week. The only text I've got from him was, "I didn't take a poop today." FML

#12748634
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25095) - you deserved it (3151)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by TextsAlot (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my step-mom informed me that she and my dad will not be attending my wedding because they will be at a NASCAR race. FML

#12663979
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39759) - you deserved it (3149)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25pm - misc - by puppielover - United States

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my own butt. FML

#12657778
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15164) - you deserved it (21898)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe... with my foot. FML

#12583063
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29335) - you deserved it (2996)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Bruce (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I came home to a dead fish duct-taped to the wall of my dorm room. I can't reach it. FML

#12566146
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27044) - you deserved it (3211)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

#12241266
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31532) - you deserved it (10719)

On 08/01/2010 at 4:45am - kids - by kfoehslfns - United States (Oregon)

Today, I took my driving test for the first time. The instructor stopped it after less than ten minutes, and insisted she drive back to the test centre "in the interest of public safety." FML

#12000759
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9672) - you deserved it (32919)

On 07/20/2010 at 9:33am - misc - by Speedy (woman) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

#11999440
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11508) - you deserved it (41490)

On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, after a fire alarm went off, everyone was going back into the building. I had never gone up the stairs before because I live on the 9th floor. As everybody was going back inside, I followed some guys right into their suite on the 1st floor, thinking it was the way to the stairs. FML

#9148913
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7846) - you deserved it (22971)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by rawrrrr (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24884) - you deserved it (6677)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

#9081770
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24566) - you deserved it (1755)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm - animals - by OhhhNooo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when I felt something brush my shoulder. I turned around in fright, and one of my bum cheeks slipped off the seat and into the toilet, making me fall sideways and hit my face on the toilet roll holder. I now have a black eye. It was my hair on my shoulder. FML

#9068483
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8340) - you deserved it (13864)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:50am - misc - by Hatty (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML

#9067691
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31632) - you deserved it (5689)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by Cooky (man) - United Kingdom (Calderdale)

Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML

#9048258
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20017) - you deserved it (9266)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by smellsgood (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

#9042400
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29950) - you deserved it (6274)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: