LosAngelesGalaxy

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Offline (the 09/01/2014 at 7:16pm)

LosAngelesGalaxy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 577
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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LosAngelesGalaxy's page activity

Visits<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:27am<b>Helpfulman</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 4:57pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 7:57pm<b>ptuts</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 4:42pm<b>Koppol</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 2:06pm

LosAngelesGalaxy's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of LosAngelesGalaxy's badges

LosAngelesGalaxy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 7:17pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were spooning in bed, nude, when I accidentally farted. He freaked out and asked in all seriousness if I was trying to give his dick pink-eye. FML

by -_____- / 07/31/2013 at 5:23pm / Netherlands / Intimacy

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

by broken finger / 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm / United States / Health

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

by .__. / 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

by helpme / 07/15/2013 at 1:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 5:04am / Australia (South Australia) / Transportation

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

by scarredforlife / 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

by ouch / 06/15/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

by Hannah / 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML

by not the cook / 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy