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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Loony

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Loony
  • Town/Country : Miami
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 22 August 1985 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 19802
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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Loony's favorite FMLs

Today, I realised I know the map on World of Warcraft better than the map of my own country. FML

#8407366 (392)

I agree, your life sucks (5212) - you deserved it (27723)

On 02/18/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by DLS - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

#7165792 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (27119) - you deserved it (9314)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I decided to stay in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

#6896062 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (5139) - you deserved it (20202)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by ApolloandDixie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

#6134962 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (35883) - you deserved it (3027)

On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (2780)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML

#5618534 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (28171) - you deserved it (2963)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore

Today, my friend told me that he was having a scrabble tournament at his house with a bunch of our friends. I told my dad about the tournament and he gave me a special scrabble dictionary to bring. Hesitantly, I brought the dictionary and as I walked in everyone was playing beer pong. FML

#2968002 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (27715) - you deserved it (8449)

On 06/17/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

#2966896 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (21675) - you deserved it (48302)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML

#2030761 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (71615) - you deserved it (13643)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

#867771 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (57808) - you deserved it (3407)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167960) - you deserved it (51060)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (43639) - you deserved it (78427)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)