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Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16251) - you deserved it (3420)
On 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21420) - you deserved it (4321)
On 04/08/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by jess - United States (Ohio)
Today, it's my 30th birthday. I was having a great night until I overheard my mother say, "I can't believe that thing made it to 30." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22003) - you deserved it (1589)
On 04/08/2012 at 9:58am - misc - by psychoticbiatch - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17292) - you deserved it (4069)
On 04/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by nobrows (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9615) - you deserved it (19832)
On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my dream finally came true, I slept with the woman I love. Sadly, after that I got friend-zoned, because she's in love with my brother, and she wanted my help to get to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23850) - you deserved it (1924)
On 04/04/2012 at 12:41pm - love - by Sociallyawkwardpenguin (man) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to McDonalds and ordered a happy meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (3294)
On 04/03/2012 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I tried to explain to my 23-year-old boyfriend the difference between "your" and "you're". I do this every other day, but it's like his head is permanently stuck in the first grade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14663) - you deserved it (4801)
On 03/31/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by LiveLoveLys (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16386) - you deserved it (1786)
On 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by sad (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11004) - you deserved it (17364)
On 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm - health - by analeis (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20005) - you deserved it (7528)
On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out my marriage counselor is currently going through her second divorce. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16460) - you deserved it (1424)
On 03/23/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by badadvise (man) - Mexico (Jalisco)
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33317) - you deserved it (2414)
On 03/16/2012 at 6:38am - love - by elisabeth_pwnes - Norway (Vestfold)
Today, my dad informed me that my prom dress makes me look chubby from the side, gives me "back fat", and that I wouldn't want to go to prom looking like that. I tried to ignore his hurtful comments and tell myself I was beautiful. Then the clasp broke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18714) - you deserved it (7200)
On 03/16/2012 at 3:13am - misc - by Winx - United States (Alaska)
Today, I gave in and let my friend give me a makeover. She couldn't find my eyelash curler, but decided that if she used scissors lightly, it would work just the same. Needless to say, it did not work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7715) - you deserved it (17293)
On 03/16/2012 at 1:11am - misc - by neveragain - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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