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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25499) - you deserved it (2034)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)
Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29704) - you deserved it (2158)
On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25316) - you deserved it (10854)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37547) - you deserved it (3494)
On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30630) - you deserved it (3815)
On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34811) - you deserved it (1952)
On 05/15/2013 at 7:43pm - health - by LordCrafte (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33945) - you deserved it (2240)
On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38518) - you deserved it (2852)
On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33164) - you deserved it (3073)
On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor came in and started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was, "Guess I forgot to numb ya, huh?" while giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45363) - you deserved it (3059)
On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70995) - you deserved it (3996)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43621) - you deserved it (7216)
On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41553) - you deserved it (3075)
On 05/10/2013 at 3:01pm - love - by paintfarts1976 (woman) - Ireland (Westmeath)
Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51152) - you deserved it (3078)
On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States
Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46201) - you deserved it (8452)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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